


Introduction Course to Parenting (Genius Level)

by Nazmuko



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Family, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2019-12-26 17:16:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18286739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nazmuko/pseuds/Nazmuko
Summary: Previous experience in caring for young humans or domesticated mammals is recommended but not required.When the team rescues an orphaned baby girl from a destroyed village, she attaches herself to Rodney McKay and refuses to cooperate with anyone else.  Suddenly Rodney finds himself responsible for the care and maintenance of the little thing.All she needs is food, sleep, clean diapers and an occasional cuddle, though. Perfectly doable.Besides, she's small and relatively stationary and therefore unlikely to touch things she's not supposed to touch so he can just bring her to work with him.And it's just until they find her a family. Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know the premise is utterly insane but please give it a try. I had a lot of fun writing this one.
> 
> A little disclaimer that I don't have children of my own so I'm probably mixing up all the developmental steps along the way. Most of my friends have chosen to procreate, though, so I have some experience observing the young Tau'ri during their maturation.

“Rodney!” John barked and once again offered him the screaming baby.  
  
“Me? Why me?” he complained but the Colonel just pushed the baby into his arms.  
  
“Because we're under fire and I need to shoot the bad guys if we're going to get out of here.”  
  
“Wait, we're... taking her with us?”  
  
“YES!” John raised his voice. “In case you missed it, the mother just died on us! We’re not going to leave a screaming baby in the middle of a battlefield! There's no-one here. Hell yeah we're taking it with us.”  
  
“Her, not it,” Rodney corrected, looking at the little girl. He was holding her at arms length and she seemed to be as confused as he was because she had stopped screaming.  
  
“See? You're already better at this than I am. Ready?”  
  
“You'd better watch my six, Colonel,” Rodney mumbled as he zipped the baby inside his jacket so he could use at least one arm if needed. “I can't shoot with her in here.”  
  
“I _know._ ”  
  
“Alright. I'm ready. And you, little girl... you'd better stay silent if you're planning to stay alive. OK?”  
  
“I don't think she understands.”  
  
“Well I was kinda... hoping my tone of voice was soothing enough for her to calm down.”  
  
“I'm pretty sure you're incapable of a soothing tone, McKay.”  
  
“Well she stopped crying when you gave her to me.”  
  
“Let's move.” John reached for his radio. “We're heading to the jumper.”  
  
“We will cover you,” Teyla promised.

* * *

 “What's that?” Carson asked when they were all safely inside a jumper again, trying to catch their breaths, and the baby started whimpering.  
  
“It's a baby,” Rodney mumbled and opened the zipper of his jacket a little more, revealing the girl’s face.  
  
“Where the bloody hell did ye get a baby, Rodney?”  
  
“Sheppard's idea,” he pointed a thumb over his shoulder at the Colonel behind him on the driver's seat.  
  
“Her mother died on us. So did everyone else so we took her with us.”  
  
“Aye...” the doctor sighed. “Is she injured?”  
  
“I don't think so,” McKay said. “Could be hungry.”  
  
“Rodney... Just because that's the most common reason for you to complain doesn't mean it's the same with her,” Carson said.  
  
“Fine. Examine her. I'm sure she's fine.” Rodney reluctantly unzipped the jacket all the way and pulled the baby out. She started crying as soon as Rodney let go.  
  
“Are ye hungry?” Carson cooed at the baby, a wide smile on his face, but it had no effect on the crying. “Aye, I think she's injured.”  
  
“No,” Rodney sighed. “She just likes me better.”  
  
All eyes turned to the scientist. “What? It is theoretically possible that someone could like me,” he reminded them. “But statistically she cries less when I hold her so just... give her back. I can't stand that noise.”  
  
“Maternal instincts kicking in?” John asked from the driver's seat.  
  
“Trying to prove a hypothesis here.” He extended his arms and impatiently gestured for Carson to hand over the baby until he did.  
  
She stared at Rodney with her big, dark blue eyes, and stopped screaming. “See?” Rodney asked the team with a wide grin. “Likes me better.”  
  
“Or she's too afraid of you to make a sound,” Ronon offered.  
  
Rodney gently turned the baby to face the crowd. “I don't know much about babies but I thought they look different when they're scared.”  
  
The girl made a little cooing sound and pushed her fist into her mouth, then started to giggle.  
  
“Alright,” Carson sighed. “She likes ye better, Rodney.”  
  
“Ha!” He grinned at his friends and pulled the baby closer to him, cradling her against his chest.  
  
“I'll examine her at the infirmary but from what I can see she seems to be around three months of age. Might be older, though, if she hasn't gotten enough food.”  
  
“And what are you going to do with her?” Teyla spoke for the first time.  
  
“Didn't think that far ahead,” John confessed. "Maybe we could drop her off to the Athosians or something, find her a new family. Don't get too attached, McKay," he joked.  
  
“Me? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a kid person."  
  
"You're not a people person," Ronon corrected.  
  
"Well that as well but I particularly dislike the small and loud kind. She just likes me because I saved her. She'll get over it."


	2. Chapter 2

“You're hurting her!” Rodney complained as Carson examined the girl in the infirmary.

“Rodney! I told ye already. She's crying ‘cause she's hungry. Someone will bring a bottle soon and I need to draw blood to make sure she's healthy.”

“Fine...” Rodney mumbled. He took a few steps towards the examination table, reached a hand towards the girl and let her grab his finger. “Fine,” he sighed and the baby stopped crying with a couple of hiccups.

“There,” Carson said and put a pink band-aid on the needle wound. “Sorry about that, love.” He smiled at the girl and tickled her tummy.

“Seems like you're forgiven,” Rodney grunted when the girl smiled. “Irresponsible to trust people that easily.”

“She's a baby, Rodney. Of course she trusts people.”

“Well I mean she should trust _you_ but...”

Carson smiled. “She seems healthy but I want to keep her in the infirmary until I get the test results. Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours. Ye gonna stay around or should I call the nurse to feed her?”

“I'll stay,” Rodney sighed, sounding like it was the last thing he wanted to do. “She likes me the best, after all.”

* * *

“Where do you want this, Rodney?” Carson whispered and lifted the large woven basket Teyla had found them. It was their subsitute for a car seat, big enough to fit the baby in it and it had long handles so it could easily be carried. This time, however, the basket was filled with diapers, bottles, formula and blankets, and Rodney was cradling the baby against his shoulder.

“Just… that table is fine,” Rodney whispered back and pointed at his coffee table.

“You cannot let her sleep on the table, Rodney. She might fall.”

“Yes, yes, I know. I’ll lift it on the floor once I’ve put her in it.”

“Good. Are you sure you can manage, Rodney? She can stay at the infirmary.” As he spoke, Carson unpacked the baby supplies from the basket and folded one of the soft blankets at the bottom as a mattress.

“She hates the infirmary. Well actually she hates everything except me and _I_ hate the infirmary so I'm not staying the night. She’s almost asleep. I’ll just pop her in there and we’ll both doze off until sunrise.” He nodded at the basket. "Don't worry, you'll get her back."

“Aye…” Carson sighed, hesitant to leave them alone. “If there’s any problem, just call me, okay?”

“Goodnight, Carson.”

“Goodnight, Rodney. Goodnight, baby.”

“Alright…” Rodney mumbled as soon as the door closed. He gently transferred the baby into the basket.

“Let’s get you comfortable and then I can finish one more report before I turn in, okay? Just be a good girl and sleep.”

The girl, however, seemed to be wide awake now, staring up at him with her huge blue eyes.

“Come on. Sleep. I know you can do it. Close your eyes...” He demonstrated himself. “And just sleep.” When he opened one eye to check if it worked, he heaved a sigh. “OK... So that didn't work. Just... Wait there for a moment, OK?”

Rodney made it two steps towards the bathroom before he turned back and lifted the basket onto the floor. When he came back, teeth brushed and wearing pajamas, the girl reached her hands towards him, obviously wanting to be picked up.

“Right then...” He cradled the baby against his shoulder again and awkwardly patted her back. “There you are. Warm and safe. I'm sure you can sleep now, right? I thought sleeping is favorite pastime for babies. And this seemed to work last time.”

He walked around his quarters for fifteen minutes but the baby didn't fall asleep. Instead she started to whimper a little and Rodney decided that was his cue to do something differently. Now if he could only figure out what.

“Story!” he yelped out loud when he remembered how his sister's kid loved bedtime stories. “Right... I can do stories. I have plenty of good stories. Uh... Let's see... Dammit! Of course I can't remember a single fairytale when I need them and you’re a little too young for mission reports.” Rodney was getting frustrated and the baby sensed it, getting agitated, too.

“Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled and stroked her back. “Right... Can't remember any stories but I think you're too young to remember them anyway so I guess I just need to keep talking about something long enough for you to fall asleep, right? I'm pretty sure that's how this works. Alright... Basic principle of naquadah reactors? That good enough for you? I promise I’ll try to keep my voice down and not get too excited.”

The baby cooed happily and Rodney started talking. It only took five minutes before she fell asleep and with a relieved sigh Rodney lowered her into the basket. However, as soon as he was further than three feet away, she begun to whimper and he had to start again with the bedtime story.

When the same problem occurred for the third time, Rodney gave up. He lowered the baby on his bed on the half against the wall so she wouldn't fall off, and sat down next to her.

“Alright, you can sleep here. But I swear if you kick me once I'll-” he stopped, staring at the baby who was blinking her teary eyes at him. “I’ll complain to Sheppard all day tomorrow and we don't want that, right?” He waved his finger at the baby. The gesture was meant to be a warning but apparently the girl took it as an invitation to play because she grabbed the finger and pulled his hand close to her.

Rodney groaned and plopped onto his stomach next to the baby, leaving her to play with his hand, gnawing at his fingertip with her gums.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “You keep that. It's not like I need it while I sleep. You promise not to kick me and I promise not to roll on you. We got a deal, miss?”

The baby waved his hand up and down excitedly.

“Well I guess that's the closest thing to a handshake I'm gonna get out of you. Goodnight, baby.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Rodney!” John called and knocked on his door for the fifth time.

“What!?” he called back and the door slid open, revealing a tired-looking scientist.

“No-one's been able to reach you this morning so I thought I'd pick you up for breakfast. Baby giving you hard time?”

“You think?”  Rodney mumbled and turned around heading back inside.

“You could have returned her to the infirmary. You know that, right?”

“I did. But she cried even harder and I've come to realize that I don't like making babies cry.”

“There may be hope for you yet. I can look after the kid for a change. How does that sound, huh?”

“Please, do.” He gestured towards the bed where the baby was starting to scream her head off.

“Is she hungry?” John asked as he picked her up.

“She ate an hour ago. And before you ask, no, she doesn't need to get changed. Took care of that, too. She just doesn't like to be alone. She got upset while I brushed my teeth.”

“Well she had bit of a crap day yesterday. I'd be upset about being left alone as well. Why don't I walk to the mess hall with her. These things usually like to be carried, right? You get dressed and meet us there, OK?”

“Yeah. Sure. Though you really should have brought coffee with you, Sheppard.”

“Next time.”

“I’d like to remind you that I agreed only on one night. Until we figure out something else. I'm sure there's  _ someone _ on this expedition who's better at taking care of her.”

Sheppard smiled and turned around, gently bouncing the crying baby in his arms. “Meet you at the mess hall, McKay!”

* * *

“I take it she didn't calm down then,” Rodney mumbled as he slid down into his chair with his tray full of food and two cups of coffee. Teyla was holding the baby, speaking to her softly and trying to calm her down.

“I do not understand,” the Athosian said. “There is no reason for her to be this upset.”

“It's OK, just give her to me,” the scientist sighed and pushed his tray a little further.

“I can hold her while you finish your breakfast, Rodney.”

“No, it's OK. I can eat and hold a screaming baby. Genius, remember?” He flashed a humorless smile.

Teyla got up and brought the baby to him.

“Why are you screaming?” Rodney sighed. “Nothing's wrong. Calm down.”

The baby stopped screaming right away and just stared at him with her big eyes, hiccuping a little.

“See?” Rodney mumbled. “Much better.” He settled the baby to rest on his left arm, then took the fork with his right hand and started to wolf down his breakfast.

Only then did he realize his friends were staring at him. “What?” he asked and pushed a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

“She screamed for thirty minutes, Rodney,” John said. “Thirty minutes. We tried everything we could and she just wouldn't stop.”

“John is correct,” Teyla agreed. “Nothing we tried made any difference.”

“So?” Rodney asked and kept eating.

“So unfortunately you were right, McKay,” John sighed. “Apparently she really likes you. And you alone.”

“You can't draw that conclusion based on two experiments.”

“More like a dozen,” Ronon said. “If we count everyone at the infirmary.”

“What are you saying? That I have to carry her around everywhere I go?”

“Looks that way,” Ronon said, looking way too amused about the news.

“Come on, it's not possible I'm the only person she likes here! There's more than a hundred people here. You just weren't doing it right.”

“I assure you, Rodney,” Teyla said. “I have taken care of small children before and never have I had such trouble calming them down.”

“Did you try, Ronon?” Rodney asked.

“Nope.”

“Well you should. Maybe she doesn't like nice people.”

The Satedan raised his eyebrows. “You telling me I'm not a nice person?”

“Well by saying that I already categorized myself as not nice so yes, I am. But what I generally mean by that is that you're the least likely to start babbling to her.”

“Sounds like a good theory,” John said and Rodney frowned, wondering if he was just being sarcastic or not. “I'd love to try it out but she's not crying anymore.”

“Well I'm sure that's easy to fix. Here, take her.” Rodney lowered his fork on the tray and offered the baby to the colonel.

“Hey, I don't want to make her cry.”

“In the long run the results of this experiment will help her,” Rodney explained. Finding out what kind of people she liked and didn't like  would be essential when finding a family for her or at the very least figuring out babysitting schedule. And there  _ would _ be a schedule because there's no way he would carry that thing around all the time.

“Fine,” John sighed and took the baby, holding her at arm’s length. “See? No problem. Your hypothesis was wrong, Rodney.” After a victorious smile to the scientist he turned to speak to the baby in soft voice: “I don't make you cry, do I? I think uncle Rodney just scared you to silence, right? Oh, no you don't. No, no, no...” And then the screaming started again.

“See? She doesn't like useless babbling. Just give her to Ronon.”

They simply lifted the baby over the table from one man to another. The baby stared at Ronon, eyes wide, as she kept screaming. The man just grunted a quick “Hi” and got back to his breakfast while holding the baby with one arm. A few seconds later the baby stopped screaming.

“OK, maybe you were on to something with your theory,” John admitted.

“See! Easy to fix. Just don't babble at her and she's gonna be fine with any of you.”

“It's a baby, Rodney,” John sighed. “How else am I supposed to speak to it?”

“She. It's a she, Sheppard. And you talk to her like to would to any other human being. Just look at Ronon and learn.”

“He's not talking,” John pointed out.

“Exactly! He's acting like he does with everyone else!”


	4. Chapter 4

There was a knock on the door of Rodney's quarters and he quickly opened the door so the visitor wouldn't wake up the baby. At least whoever it was was smart enough to knock instead of using the doorbell.

“Hey,” John greeted and stepped in. “It's about lunchtime. Wanna join us?”

“I need to finish this report.”

“Oh. Any idea how long that might take?”

It was day two since they found the kid and Rodney had been working in his own quarters ever since because they still hadn’t been able to find any other solution for babysitting. At least they had managed to narrow down her preferences a little.

The girl seemed to be the more comfortable with men than women, and panicked every time someone started babbling or cooing at her. They suspected she was probably getting flashbacks of her mother trying to soothe her in the middle of the attack. In other words, any attempts to gently comfort her only made her more upset.

Once they figured out that pattern, they had found a few people the girl was okay with for short periods of time but Rodney still carried the main responsibility of her care. John hated to admit it but the team was starting to miss the grumpy scientist a little.

“I’m almost done but it depends on the girl. She's gonna wake up any time now and I'll probably need to feed her before I can continue.”

Just then John heard a little cry from somewhere in Rodney's quarters.

“Where is she?” he asked when he couldn't locate the source of said voice.

“Bathroom,” Rodney mumbled and pushed a button on some weird looking device that was sitting on the table next to his laptop. The baby stopped crying right away. “She sleeps better when it’s dark and quiet.”

“What did you do?” John asked, a little alarmed. “Stun her?”

“Of course not. First button makes the cradle move a little, second makes the mobile turn around above her and the third one opens a radio contact.”

When the baby started to whimper a moment later, Rodney pushed the third button. “In a minute, kid. I said I won't leave you alone but I need to work.” He pushed the second button and soft giggling could be heard from the other room.

John raised his eyebrows and headed into the bathroom to see what this system was all about. Sure enough the girl was happily giggling in the cradle and a home-made mobile was slowly turning around above it. It was made of wire and various little objects, including wooden Athosian toys, small plush toys and something that looked like pieces of broken Ancient technology. Definitely not safe to touch for someone so young but apparently very enthralling to stare at as the girl was squealing and reaching up towards the objects.

There was a radio duct taped to the end of the cradle and some kind of small motors responsible for the movements, but John didn’t want to examine further.

Lorne's team had found the cradle in a market on some planet and dragged it to Atlantis so the kid wouldn't have to sleep in a basket. It was quite nice, painted white and decorated with carvings.

“It has a safety system that the mobile won’t turn as long as the cradle is moving,” Rodney called from behind his back. “It makes her dizzy. I learned it the hard way.”

When John glanced over his shoulder, he saw the scientist grimace and wondered what the kid puked on. Everything, probably.

"Rodney... What is she wearing?" John asked when he took a better look at the girl inside the cradle he'd been admiring.

"You like? It says 'I'm with genius'. It seemed fitting."

"Well it's a little hard to read considering it's a men's T-shirt that would fit three kids her side in it, gathered together into a dress with a ... belt?"

"It's a flat Ethernet extension cable, actually. See?" He released the connector from the socket and then locked it again. "I tried a piece of rope but it was too bulky."

"It's probably better if I don't comment on that."

"Yes, well, turns out baby clothes aren't exactly a priority when it comes to things we stock up in here. We only have formula and diapers for disaster relief missions and we're running terrifyingly low on the diapers."

"I'm pretty sure disposable diapers are more of an exception than a rule in this galaxy. You'll manage. You done yet?”

“Yes. That was faster than I thought. I can feed her in the commissary.”

“Alright then,” John mumbled and scooped the girl up from her cradle. “Off we go, princess.”

The girl eyed him suspiciously.

“I know you like McKay the best but if I promise not to babble, will you let me take you to the commissary, huh? There will be food.”

The girl stared at him for a long time before her lower lip begun to tremble. “I take that as a no,” John mumbled and pushed the girl to Rodney.

“You can take the diaper bag,” the scientist offered as he strapped the girl to his chest with the baby sling Teyla got him. It was a lifesaver because he could get some work done without leaving the girl alone.

John rolled his eyes. He still had trouble believing the kid really liked _Rodney_ better than any of the people who actually had experience in childcare or even some social skills, himself included. What was even more shocking, though, was that Rodney was actually good with the kid.

Oh, he was terrible with any other children but with this one... It was like they were a match made in heaven. It was a little disturbing, really. Maybe he should ask Carson to take a DNA sample of the kid. Maybe she was Rodney's clone or something. Apparently gone a little wrong because she was very much a she while Rodney was just a guy with a girl's name but... Maybe they should name the kid Meredith. That would be amazing.

“Have you thought about a name yet?” John asked as they left the quarters.

Rodney glanced at him and frowned, wondering what he was up to. “No. And no, I don't want to hear your suggestions. Nobody is going to name her until we know where she will stay.”

* * *

“I think she's bored,” John said and nodded towards the baby who was lying on the floor of the jumper, on top of her favorite blanket. She was getting a little restless, sucking her fist on and off, trying to turn onto her tummy and getting frustrated when it didn't work out.

Rodney glanced at her and then turned back to his tablet. “I can see that, yes.”

“Well maybe you should try to make her un-bored, huh?”

“In a minute. I have a jumper to fix, remember? Why don't you give it a try, huh?”

“Rodney,” Zelenka said. “We can manage a moment without you.”

“See?” John said. “It's your kid. Entertain her.”

“She's not mine and how exactly do I entertain a baby, huh?”

He picked the girl up and sat down on one of the benches with her. The girl laughed the moment she saw him and Rodney couldn't help but smile himself as he tried to dodge the wet little fingers that wanted to get all over his face.

“Hi baby. Bored, huh? You've been pretty self-sufficient with the entertainment section so far so I have no idea what to do. ”

“Just play with her, McKay.”

“Play what? I think she's a little too young for tag.”

“You played tag as a kid? Somehow I can't imagine that.”

“No. I preferred chess and other games with intellectual challenge and minimal human interaction.”

“You see, that sounds a lot more like you.”

Rodney sighed and held the baby from her armpits so that she was standing up on his knees. Then he awkwardly lifted her up and down again. The girl gnawed at her fist thoughtfully.

“I've seen people do this to babies and they seemed to enjoy it. Sorry kid but if you don't like jumping I don't have a whole lot of other ideas because it's either this or peek-a-poo and that whole game is based on the fact that you don't understand the basic principle that objects are there even if you can't see them. There's nothing funny about that. It's sad.”

The girl released the fist and Rodney decided to try again. After a couple of jumps she seemed to get the idea and started to push back with her feet, laughing as she jumped up and down.

After a few minutes the baby was adequately un-bored and Rodney put her in the sling again so he could continue working.

“Alright, see, now we need to modify this interface so we can access these controls from _that_ panel instead of this one--”

“Rodney… What are you doing?” John asked.

“What? Oh, she likes the sound of my voice.”

“That's a first,” Zelenka mumbled.

“See? This is why I like her. She likes _me_. Unlike everyone else on this base.”

“I like you just fine, McKay. Even if I don't giggle while I drool on your shirt."

Zelenka cleared his throat. "You do realize that phrasing suggests you do drool, you just don't giggle, yes?"

"Thank you for putting that image in my head," Rodney frowned, then turned his attention back to the girl. “Alright, now we need to pull out this part here and… move this wire… Perhaps if we coat the contacts with a fine layer of naquadah--”

“I fail to see what that would achieve, Rodney,” Zelenka said.

“What? Oh, I wasn't… I didn't mean that. Naquadah is her favorite word so I tend to… slip it in whenever I'm… speaking. About anything.”

"How do you know it's her favorite word?" John asked. 

"Because it makes her smile. Like this." Rodney turned to speak directly to the girl. "Naquadahnaquadahnaquadahnaquadah," he shot at machine gun speed and the girl squealed in delight.

"See? Favorite word."

"With that tone you could be repeating potato and she'd find it hilarious."

Rodney rolled his eyes and decided to demonstrate. 

"Potatopotatopotatopotatopotato."

The girl frowned at first, then started screaming.

"See what you did now, Sheppard?" Rodney sighed and put a comforting hand on the girl's back.

"That was not my fault!"

"It was a little bit," Zelenka agreed.

"See? Just trust my judgment on this, would you, Sheppard?"

"Fine."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay!
> 
> I've had a crazy busy week and my perfectionist tendencies are rising their ugly head again.
> 
> Thank you everyone who's left kudos and reviews! I honestly thought I'd be sitting here in the corner, snickering to this all alone. I'm glad to hear others find it amusing as well.

“I heard you're doing fine with the babysitting,” Elizabeth said as she sat down on the other side of the table. It had been four days since they brought the baby to Atlantis and so far there hadn't been any major issues with putting Rodney in charge of the child.

“What?” Rodney lifted his gaze from the papers he was reading while he ate. “Ah, yes. Apparently babies are a lot easier to entertain than children.”

The girl started fussing in the basket that was placed on the chair next to him. Rodney reached his left hand in and tickled her for a moment, never raising his gaze from the papers. The girl cooed happily and settled down.

“I can see that,” Elizabeth said with a smile. “I'm sure you're happy to hear we've found a couple of families that might be interested in adopting her.”

“Already?” Rodney lowered the fork on the plate and frowned, obviously not knowing what to think. “I mean... Are you sure she can’t stay on Atlantis? We’ve found five people she can tolerate for short periods of time and two of them actually like her. Well, maybe three. It’s hard to tell about Ronon.”

“Rodney... Unless you're planning to adopt her... No. It takes a village sometimes and the last few days have proved that this village is clearly willing to help but a child needs a parent or two to call her own.”

“Well I have to admit I hadn't thought of that but I could. I mean… It’s not that hard. Actually it's not that different from having a cat.”

“Having a child is _nothing_ like having a cat, Rodney.”

“Well she eats, sleeps, poops and plays. Biggest difference is that she likes my company even between mealtimes. Well, that and the fact that she doesn't purr. Though she does make this funny little gurgling sound that's a happy sound but not quite a chuckle. I guess that's pretty close, isn't it?”

Elizabeth pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow, amused.

“She's just learning not to _hate_ everyone,” Rodney sighed. “A couple more days and we can set up an actual babysitting schedule. I have thirty-one volunteers.”

“You are aware that in a couple of years that predictable little human being will grow into an over-energetic child who will run around and ask millions of questions, right? We’re not talking about whether we can find her a babysitter tomorrow, we’re talking about her future, Rodney. We’re talking about the rest of her life.”

“Well we can find her a new home then, huh? If I can't handle that. But I think in general I'm pretty good at answering questions.”

“Parenting is not something you choose to do 'for now', Rodney.”

The man glanced at the smiling baby in the basket and frowned. “Right. You’re right. Of course you’re right. And Atlantis probably isn't an optimal place to raise a child anyway.”

 _“Rodney,”_ the familiar voice of Radek Zelenka came through the radio, putting an end to the conversation.

“Yes, Zelenka?”

_“We could use your help in the lab.”_

“I'm on my way. Is it life-threatening crises or just a regular one?”

_“Just a little malfunction. Nothing should explode.”_

“We'll be there in five.”

“Do you want me to look after her?” Elizabeth asked when he got up.

“No, I think I can handle it.”

“Rodney...”

“I know, I know. I can't do everything myself. But I can do this.”

“Alright. Just call me if you need help. If she can’t stand my company, I’ll find her someone she doesn’t hate.”

“Remind me to send you the list.”

* * *

“Alright, let's get to work,” Rodney said as he lowered the baby basket on one of the desks. “What's the problem?”

“You brought the baby with you?” Radek asked.

“Yes. In case you haven't notice, she's not old enough to take care of herself. There's what, five of us here? I think we can handle one crises and one baby at the same time. Just don't babble when you speak to her.”

Then he turned to the baby and pointed at Radek. “He speaks funny but that’s not babbling, it’s an accent. Remember how we had a talk about this yesterday?"

The Czech sighed and pushed his glasses higher. “We're detecting something weird in the energy readings of one part of the city.”

“Define weird,” Rodney said as he strapped the baby against his chest with the sling so he could have both of his hands free while the girl still got the attention she needed.

“Well that's all we know so far, really. There's no logic, no pattern.”

“Just because you're not smart enough to see it doesn't mean it's not there.”

* * *

 “Carson?” Rodney’s voice was panicked and accompanied with cries of the baby when he walked into the infirmary. It was ten in the evening.

“Rodney? What happened?” the doctor rushed to them.

“I think I broke her,” Rodney said and pushed the girl to Carson.

“What happened? Did you drop her?” He gently checked the girl’s head for bumps or cuts.

“Not _broke_ broke her,” Rodney huffed. “She just won’t stop crying. I think she’s finally had enough of my company.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know! She just started and now she won’t stop.”

“What were you doing when she started? Anything out of the ordinary about your evening?”

Carson grabbed the ear thermometer from the drawer and took the girl’s temperature.

“No,” Rodney sighed. “I gave her a bath. Put her favorite pajamas on.”

“She has favorite pajamas? After four days?”

“Yes, she does. She likes the stars.” Rodney made a vague hand gesture towards the girl and her outfit of dark blue onesie with little white stars all over it.

“She doesn’t have fever. Did you see anything strange when you gave her a bath? Bruises or a rash?”

“No.”

“Alright. I’ll check just in case anyway. What did you do after pajamas?”

“Well I fed her. And I told her the same bedtime story as every night but she…” Rodney’s eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers. “That’s it! She didn’t calm down so I sang to her! That’s where we went wrong! I mean she didn't start crying right away but that must be it.”

“You sing, Rodney?”

“Well clearly I shouldn’t. And trust me, I won't try that again. Thank you. Glad we figured that out.” Rodney stepped forward to take the girl back.

“She keeps looking around. Did she lose something? A toy? Pacifier? Blankie?”

“Does a village count?” Rodney huffed as he pulled the girl against him again. She burrowed in, clinging to his T-shirt with her tiny fists. She didn’t stop crying, though.

The men’s eyes met when the realization hit in.

“Oh,” Rodney said.

“Aye,” Carson agreed and both men turned to look at the baby.

“How do we make her stop?” Rodney whispered, like it would make a difference somehow.

“You’re the person she trusts the most, Rodney. Just hold her. She needs to know you’re not going anywhere.”

”But I am,” Rodney whispered, staring at the back of the baby’s head.

* * *

 

Carson?” Teyla asked as she walked into the infirmary.

“Shh!”

The doctor gestured for her to follow him to the furthest corner so they wouldn’t bother the sleeping duo.

“What happened” Teyla nodded towards the hospital bed where Rodney was fast asleep in a half seated position with the baby on his chest, drooling on his shirt. His hand was protectively on her back.

“They had a rough night,” Carson said with a humorless smile. “What can I do for you, love?”

“We were simply worried about Doctor McKay. We were unable to reach him on the radio and he was not in his quarters. Is the baby alright?”

“She’s not sick or injured. I think she finally realized her mother is dead. They fell asleep an hour ago after lots of crying. Mostly from the baby.” 

“I see.” Teyla nodded.

They both looked at their friend, lost in thought. The baby started fussing a little and Rodney, still half asleep, patted her back and nuzzled the side of her head. The girl calmed down. 

“Did you hear Doctor Weir might have found her a family?” Carson whispered.

“I did. But I believe the baby might have chosen her family already.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Rodney, please, come in,” Elizabeth called when he appeared in the doorway of her office later that day. “How can I help you?”

“I... have a suggestion. Or more like I came here to ask for a favor. Because our conversation yesterday made me think and...”

“You’re thinking of adopting her?”

“Let’s just say that I’m running an analysis on the topic but I don’t have quite enough data to make a decision.” Rodney stopped, trying to read the look on her face. “You think I’m crazy. Am I crazy? I thought… Nevermind, this was a horrible idea. Just tell me when her new family gets here and I’ll drop her off with instructions. Actually, I’ll write a manual. Easier that way so they don't forget because she can be a little particular about her preferences.”

“You’re not crazy, Rodney,” Elizabeth said with a smile.

“I’m not? I mean, of course I’m not. Thank you. I knew that.”

“What did you come here to ask?”

“Well I… haven’t really had any vacations lately and my sister has a kid and I got this idea that maybe I could go visit her with the baby and, you know, see if I can tolerate the kid. I mean her kid. Mine I tolerate just fine. Not mine. The one I’m borrowing. Looking after.”

“Rodney!” Elizabeth interrupted his rambling.

“Yes?”

“Your sister lives in Canada.”

“I’m aware of that, yes. But we have this rather ingenious intergalactic gate bridge in operation now that means it's not a problem. And as far as I know we have a ship in Earth orbit that I was hoping could beam me across the continent. I hate to sound arrogant but I think I’ve earned a favor or two over the years.”

“How long were you planning to stay?”

“Well I know Jeannie and I are talking now but I don't think I should stay longer than a night or two if we want to keep it that way. Definitely not more than three.”

Elizabeth nodded.

“I think we can postpone the decision a few days. If Jeannie is okay with it.”

* * *

“Welcome, Rodney,” Samantha Carter greeted him with a wide smile as soon as he stepped through the gate..

“Sam? Well I wasn't expecting to see you here.”

“Had to see it with my own eyes.”

“What? The baby?” He glanced down at the girl who was staring up at him from the sling with her big, blue eyes, still trying to figure out what just happened. One moment they were in the sunny Atlantis gateroom, then the midway station with a beautiful view of the two galaxies and now suddenly everything was gray and the lights were bright and artificial. “I'm sure you've seen babies before.”

“Well more like _you_ with a baby.”

“Well, here we are. And she's hungry. Could we get somewhere more private? I'm not in the mood to deal with people in the mess hall.”

“My quarters private enough?”

“If I knew I only needed a baby to get there, I would have gotten one years ago.”

Sam raised her eyebrows.

“Yes, your quarters are fine,” Rodney mumbled and made a hand gesture that was supposed to mean _lead the way_.

“You need help with the bags?”

“Of course I do.”

* * *

Rodney could feel Sam’s eyes on him and finally lifted his gaze from the feeding baby.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re good at that.”

“Well it’s not that hard. You put the teat in her mouth and keep it there until she’s done.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Rodney.”

“Hmm…”

“I never saw you as a kid person, to be honest.”

“Turns out they’re easier to handle when they can’t talk yet. Or move. Or make a mess when trying to feed themselves.”

“They’re still smelly and loud at that stage, though,” Sam reminded him.

“Well usually when you sort out the smelly part, the loud part stops as well so that helps. Well, there are other kinds of loud as well but- My point is that she's relatively consistent with her screaming and the reasons behind it."

Once the baby was fed and burped, Rodney lowered her into her brand new car seat and calmly explained to her that he was going to wash the bottle and would be back in a few minutes and she should feel free to go ahead with her nap without him.

When Rodney came back from the bathroom, he was surprised to find Sam holding the baby in the crook of her arm, gently swaying from side to side, the girl’s eyes drooping.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry. Was I not allowed to do that? She looked like she could use some company and I thought... “

“No, no. She’s not screaming so it’s fine, apparently.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re the first female she tolerates. Usually she goes into full panic mode.” He frowned, trying to figure out a reason, then snapped his fingers. "The hair! It must be the hair. Her mother had long, dark hair and she can't stand Teyla but she's almost okay with Weir. That must be it."

“Well she’s smiling so I might be bold enough to say she more than _tolerates_ me.”

“When she likes someone she does this very special kind of smile that shows a dimple on her left cheek and then pushes her fist in her mouth and tries to paint that person’s face with drool. Yours looks drool-free so far so...”

The look on Sam’s face was equal amounts amused and disgusted.

“You know..." she started. "It’s always better to be tolerated than liked. Harder to disappoint them, right?”

“My sentiment exactly.”

* * *

“Hi,” Jeannie said with a smile as she opened the door.

“Hey.” Rodney smiled, a little awkwardly.

While he was still trying to figure out what to say next, Madison ran around the corner, geared up for a tackle hug. She did slow down when she saw the car seat with the baby on the porch next to him, though.

“Hi, baby," the girl greeted and then wrapped her arms around Rodney's legs and looked up at him. “Hi, uncle Meredith!”

He heaved a sigh. “Be a good girl and call me Rodney, would you?”

“But it's not your name,” the girl argued with a frown.

“How about a compromise, huh? Mer?”

“Okay. Did you bring me a gift this time, uncle Mer?”

“Madison!” Jeannie yelped, then turned to Rodney. “I'm sorry, we talked about this before but I guess she forgot.”

“Actually, I _did_ bring you a gift,” Rodney said with a smug grin.

“Yay!”

“You'll get it if you let me come inside.”

“Oh, right.” The girl released her grip and took a step back.

“What?” Rodney asked when Jeannie just looked at him with raised eyebrows. “I am capable of learning from my mistakes, you know.”

“Well better late than never, I guess.”

“Well learning needs practice and I don't make enough mistakes for that,” he said and Jeannie rolled her eyes.

Rodney turned around to lift their suitcases inside while Jeannie carried the baby and diaper bag into the living room. Just as he was closing the door behind him he saw in the corner of his eye how Jeannie was crouching in front of the baby with a wide smile on her face.

“Hi! You're awake. Aren't you a pretty little thing, huh? What's a girl like you doing with a grump like my brother, huh?"

“Don't!” Rodney hissed, careful not to raise his voice as he dashed towards them.

"Aww… What's wrong? You're still sleepy, aren't you?”

No matter how fast he moved, the girl was already crying when Rodney got to them.

“It's okay,” Rodney told the girl as he unbuckled her. “Jeannie is one of the good guys. Girls. Nothing bad is going to happen.” The baby buried her face to his shoulder like she always did when she was upset. “Come on now. You’re perfectly safe.”

He patted the girl's back and caught the look of pure shock on Jeannie's face.

"Uh, just... Give us a sec, okay?"

He turned around, suddenly feeling very awkward about taking care of the baby in front of his sister. The girl calmed down quickly and Rodney turned to face Jeannie and Madison again.

“I'm sorry," Jeannie said. "I don't know what I did but I'm sorry.”

“Ah… That's my fault, I guess. I should have warned you. She hates babbling, cooing and baby talk in general. And singing, though that might have been just _me_ and not the… Just don’t do any of those things women automatically do with babies, okay?”

“Alright…”

“Madison?” Rodney called out. “Your gift is in the side pocket of the diaper bag.” He pointed towards the brown leather bag leaning against the couch. The girl ran there and pulled out the handmade doll Teyla had brought from the mainland. She squealed in delight and ran to him, then slowed down almost comically before gently hugging his legs again, careful not to startle him while he held the baby.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Mom? Can I go introduce it to the others?”

“Sure, honey.”

By the time the girl had left the room for a doll reunion, the baby was feeling calm enough to shyly glance at Jeannie. She kept her cheek tight against Rodney’s chest but was obviously curious.

“Hey,” Jeannie said and smiled.

“Jeannie…”

“That was _not_ babbling. What am I supposed to say? Good afternoon miss- What’s her name anyway?”

“She doesn’t have one. And she won’t get one until she has a family. It’s just miss... baby for now.”

“Well good afternoon miss baby,” Jeannie tried again very formally. “Pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Jeannie, I'll be your host this weekend and I will do my very best to speak to you like you were an adult, okay?”

“Thank you,” Rodney said.

“Now let’s get these things to the guest room, huh? Lunch will be ready in a few minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as timeline goes, this one goes AU after "McKay and Mrs Miller". I think this story takes place a few months later, though Madison might be acting a little older than she is in the show. My firsthand experience with children ends around the age of three so anything after that is based on google. :D


	7. Chapter 7

“What?” Rodney huffed when Jeannie kept looking at him with an unreadable expression as he got the baby settled into the sling.

“You actually know what you’re doing. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Well it’s not exactly astrophysics.”

“That's my point. Astrophysics you can do.”

Rodney chose to ignore her.

“You know…” Jeannie started, thoughtfully. “I already gave up hope of ever becoming an aunt.”

“You did? When? I mean, I know I’m not the most social person but with my genes it would be a shame not to procreate so I guess I thought-- When?”

“Oh, around the time I turned twelve.”

Rodney huffed and decided it was better not to shoot back how he never imagined her having kids, either. Instead he focused on rummaging through the diaper bag.

“Ha! Found it!”

He pulled out a small device about the size of a cigarette box, pushed a couple of buttons on it and then slid it in between the folds of the fabric in the baby sling so that it was close to the baby’s head.

“What’s that?” Jeannie asked.

“Oh, I… She usually naps in the sling while I work and I… I recorded the background sounds of the lab for her so she has something familiar to calm her down in a strange place. It helped at the SGC.”

Jeannie leaned in close to listen.

“Is that… swearing?”

“You speak Czech?”

“You don’t need to speak the language to recognize the tone of voice, Mer. Is that what you play her as lullaby?”

“Oh, just wait until you hear our bedtime stories. And that happens to be one of the most common background sounds in the lab so I couldn’t just leave it out. It wouldn’t be the same.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, to Zelenka? He dropped his coffee cup.”

“On something important, I assume?”

“Well if his toes count.”

* * *

It was raining so instead of going to the park like they usually did in the afternoons according to Jeannie, they stayed in. The baby was lying on the floor, happily gnawing at Madison's old rattle while the older girl was drawing next to her, with a running commentary on what she was doing at any given moment. The adults were sitting on the couch on the other side of the room.

“Why are you here, Mer?” Jeannie asked.

“Because I have no idea what I’m getting into and I need your honest opinion.”

“About you? I think you’re a brilliant, insufferable ass. Though I have to admit you’re showing some signs of improvement.”

“Yes, well… I meant, considering this situation specifically, not in general.”

Jeannie smiled.

“You know…” she started as she watched the kids thoughtfully. “I think mom would be proud if she saw us now. Playing with our kids like normal people.”

“Okay, first of all, not my kid. Second of all, we're not playing with them, they're playing together. Third, don't drag mom into this.”

“You used dad to guilt me into that Atlantis trip.”

“And you ended up saving the universe! Well, helping to save the universe. In small part.”

“A universe that never would've been at risk if I hadn't agreed to help you.”

“Oh, I would've figured out the math on my own eventually.”

“Ah, yes. Doctor McKay, perfectly capable of destroying star systems and universes on his own, thank you very much.”

“Yes, well…  When you put it like that it's nothing to brag about, I guess.”

“I didn't bring up mom to guilt you into parenthood, Mer. All I want, all mom would have wanted, is for you to do what's best for the girl.”

“In case you haven't noticed, I'm not very good at the whole... Thinking about the greater good thing. I admit I tend to be a little... selfish in my decisions. That’s why I’m here. You clearly have no problem telling me the truth.”

“And if you were to make this decision selfishly, what would you do?”

“I like having her around. I don’t think I’ve ever been someone’s favorite person before."

“But?”

“You know me, Jeannie. A baby? I may be a genius but I'm not very good at explaining things to people who are…”

“Not as smart as you?”

“Yes. Thank you. I might have chosen a slightly… well, different phrase. But yes, that’s what parents do, right? Explain things over and over to someone who doesn’t know even the basics.”

On the other side of the room Madison was playing peek-a-poo with the baby who was clearly having the time of her life.

“See what I mean? That’s her favorite game.”

“Object stability, huh?”

“It’s a disturbing thought that we all started with… that.” He gestured towards the happy baby.

“And look how far we’ve come.”

* * *

“Baby delivery,” Kaleb announced and handed the baby to Rodney. She was wrapped tightly in a towel and half asleep already, the little tuft of hair on top of her head poking up like a unicorn horn.

“I still can’t believe she let you bathe her,” Jeannie sighed. “She starts crying if even step into her line of sight.”

“It’s not you, it’s her,” Rodney said and lowered the baby on the bed. “She has issues with women. Can you hand me the pajamas and a diaper?”

“I guess that explains why the two of you are such a great pair,” Jeannie said and handed over the dark blue star onesie. “Something in common, huh?”

“I thought I was supposed to be the rude one?” Rodney said, his eyes focused on getting the girl dressed for the night.

“I’m sorry,” Jeannie sighed.

“Bad things happened the last time she was with her mom and you’re the most maternal person I know so in some illogical way it makes sense she gets scared when she sees you, okay? Her brain just needs to rewire itself a little and she'll get over it. Well, at least that's what Carson said and he's usually right about these things.”

“Most maternal? Next you'll say I'm a good mother, huh?” She chuckled. “What a time to be alive.”

“At which point have I indicated that you weren't?” Rodney asked with a frown.

“Oh, come on, Mer! You always criticize my choice of staying home with Madison.”

“Yes! Your choice. Not your ability. From what I can see, you're a great mom. Your kid sure thinks so. But you're a pretty decent scientist, too, and you should be out there making a difference, not home making... oatmeal and Lego towers.”

Jeannie went quiet and when Rodney finally lifted his gaze from the baby, he saw her eyes were glistening.

“What did I do now?” he asked, confused.

Jeannie smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you.”

“You're… welcome?”

She gave his forearm a squeeze and got up.

“Goodnight, Meredith.”

“Goodnight, Jeannie.”

“And goodnight, baby.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really was planning to update more often but I had the pleasure to spend some time with my goddaughter (who's almost three) and her baby brother (eight months) and had trouble getting back to the mindset where someone voluntarily becomes a single parent. 😂 Parents are superheroes. Bless them. 
> 
> To make up for the delay, I decided to post one longer chapter instead of trying to divide it in two.
> 
> Thank you all for the reviews! I keep meaning to get back to you all and then life keeps happening. But I will get to that at one point. ❤

It was only five in the morning but the baby had been fussy and clingy all night so Rodney decided to give up and get started with his day. The girl was playing on the living room floor while Rodney downed cup after cup of coffee and read some research notes he was allowed to take with him. Most of their work was too heavily classified to ever leave a military base but he needed something to do other than looking after the kid or he’d go crazy.

“Uncle Mer?” Madison asked. He hadn't even noticed her walking into the room but now she was standing in front of the couch.

“What are you doing up?” he asked with a frown and glanced at the clock on the wall.

“I had a bad dream.”

“Aren't you supposed to go to your parents with those? Isn't that what kids do?”

The girl shrugged and climbed onto the couch next to him. “You're awake.”

“If you're looking for a hug and a pep talk you've come to the wrong place.”

“Can I hug your baby, then?”

Rodney glanced at the girl on the floor and ran a risk analysis.

“If you're really, really careful. And if she’s okay with it.”

Jeannie walked into the living room an hour later, looking worried.

“Have you seen Madison? She's not in her bed.”

“Shh.” Rodney pointed at the space next to him on the couch and Jeannie walked closer. The girls were fast asleep side by side so that the baby was between Madison and the back of the couch, the older girl's arm thrown protectively over the baby.

“Madison had a bad dream, baby had a bad night, both needed a hug, I needed to finish this work.” He grinned and pointed at his face. “Genius, remember?”

Jeannie raised her eyebrows.

“What?” Rodney asked.

“You hate children.”

“I like them just fine when they're asleep. Awake they're fast and loud and illogical.”

Jeannie chuckled.

“Well you came here to experience life with children so here's your chance. I'm going back to bed.”

“What?!”

“Kaleb will leave for his morning run soon but I'm setting my alarm for ten o'clock. You're a genius. You'll figure it out.”

* * *

“Why doesn't she have a name?” Madison asked.

The girl had asked to help the baby with her breakfast bottle. She was sitting in the corner of the couch, her back against the pillows and the baby between her legs, resting against her chest. The girl was holding the bottle with one hand, though Rodney had to constantly correct her hold because she kept getting distracted by trying to look at the baby’s face.

The girl was proud of the responsibility and having something to do had kept her quiet so far. But the bottle was almost empty now.

“Because she doesn't have a family and her family gets to decide what they'll call her. Well to be honest she probably has a name but we don't know it so she'll get a new one. Eventually.”

“Why can't you be her family?”

“Well I could but she might be happier somewhere else. With some other people.”

Rodney took the empty bottle from her and put it on the coffee table. The baby smiled happily now that her tummy was full again.

“Why? She's happy now. And she laughs all the time.”

“She doesn't laugh _all_ the time,” Rodney corrected. He picked the baby up to burp her and she happily snuggled closer.

“And you do?” Madison raised her eyebrows and Rodney frowned.

When was the last time he laughed? He had no idea. Probably the last time Carson pumped him full of morphine. Yeah, that was it.

“I'm quite happy with my life just the way it is, thank you very much. Even if I don't laugh all the time. Nobody laughs all the time.”

“She seems pretty happy with her life, too.” Madison shrugged and Rodney decided to change tactic.

“Maybe she needs a mom and a dad, huh?”

“Thirty-eight percent of my kindergarten group live with one parent. And one has two dads.”

“Yes, well, I have to admit I forgot that possibility. Two parents is better than one, though.”

“She’s okay even if she has no mom. Mom had to teach her dads how to braid my friend's hair but they're nice.”

“Well good for her. Wait… You talk with percentages? How old are you?”

“Daddy says I got Mom's brain.”

“That's good. Your mom has a fine brain.” Suddenly Rodney noticed his slip and glanced around, glad to notice his sister was nowhere to be seen. “Just don't tell her I said that.”

Madison giggled and reached out to stroke the baby's leg which was the only part she could currently reach.

“I'm gonna call her Gabby,” the girl announced.

“Why?”

“Because she needs a name and Gabrielle is my best friend and they have the same eyes and they laugh a lot.”

“Huh.”

“You can use that too on one condition,” the girl announced.

“What?”

“I get to pick the middle name if you use my idea.”

“So because you pick the first name, you get to pick the middle name. How is that fair?”

“It just is.”

Kids. Rodney realized this was exactly the kind of thing he would have to deal with in a few years. He could handle answering questions but irrationality and flawed logic was a little harder to stand.

“Alright. What's your suggestion? I need to know it before I know if I can agree to your terms.”

“Meredith.”

“Meredith,” Rodney sighed. Of course. The name he had hated his whole life. On the other hand... Maybe passing it on would somehow set it right. Like returning it to its lawful owner or something. “Gabrielle Meredith McKay. That's a big name for a small girl.”

“But you like it,” the girl said with a self-satisfied smirk and Rodney had to agree. Not out loud, though.

* * *

When Jeannie finally made her way to the living room, it was half past nine. Madison was running around the living room with a toy airplane, doing her very best with authentic sound effects, and Rodney was bouncing the crying baby in his arms, trying to make her calm down. It was nap time but he didn't want to leave Madison alone long enough to put the baby to bed.

“How’s it going, brother?” Jeannie asked with a smirk.

“Are they all like that when they reach that age?” he nodded towards Madison.

“What did you feed her?”

“Cereal.”

“Not a good idea.”

“Well she wanted chocolate ice cream with ketchup and marshmallows so it felt like a responsible choice in comparison.”

Jeannie laughed.

“Look…” Roney sighed. “Can you look after her now? This one needs a nap so I’m just gonna…” He pointed towards the guest room. “Lie down with her for a moment. Okay?”

“Actually I was thinking we could head to the park. Maybe she’d fall asleep in the baby carriage?”

Rodney glanced at the crying baby and heaved a sigh.

“Sounds like worth trying.”

* * *

The kid didn’t fall asleep right away. She kept staring at the trees with her eyes wide with wonder, and Rodney realized she had probably never seen anything grow taller than people. Her village was quite high in the mountains and the environment was harsh. Eventually the gentle movement of the carriage lulled her to sleep, though.

Madison ran ahead with Kaleb, too excited about getting to the playground. Once the siblings reached the playground, they sat on a bench and watched the playing kids. The baby carriage was in Jeannie's end of the bench because Rodney insisted on sitting in the shade but there was no place for the carriage next to him.

“Stop it,” Jeannie said.

“Stop what?”

“Glancing in her direction every three seconds. You’re literally five feet away. You can hear the moment she wakes up. And I’m not going to let anyone steal her.”

“Actually that thought never even occurred to me so thank you for that. I now have one more thing to be afraid of.”

“Mer… Relax.”

“Jean!” The voice came from their right and they both turned to search for its source.

A blonde woman was walking towards them with a wide smile on her face and her arms opened for a hug. “How long has it been?”

Jeannie got up to give her a hug, a little hesitantly.

Kaleb glanced at them from where he was pushing Madison in the swings and mouthed if she needed to be rescued. Jeannie shook her head at him.

“A couple of years. Do you remember my brother?”

“Meredith? I haven’t seen you since high school.”

“Oh, you’re…” He snapped his fingers a couple of times, searching for her name. “You had that tiny grey dog that always gnawed at my ankles, yes?”

“Rocky.”

“Is that your name or the dog’s?”

“Meredith!” Jeannie yelped but the woman just laughed.

“I'm Ellie.”

“Right. Ellie,” he said like the name actually rang a bell.

Just then the girl began to whimper in the baby carriage.

“Oh! I didn't know you had a second child, Jean. Congratulations!” The woman leaned in to get a better look at the baby. “Oh, you’re adorable! What’s your name, darling?”

“Gabby,” Rodney replied, barely resisting the urge to jump up. “Her name is Gabby and she doesn't like baby talk.”

“Oh, pfft. Just because your grumpy uncle doesn't know how to speak to babies doesn't-”

“Ellie, please don't,” Jeannie tried but it was too late. It only took a second for Rodney to reach the girl and scoop her up but she was already crying.

“Why is it so difficult to follow clear instructions, huh?” he asked and gently stroked the back of the baby's head as she snuggled against him, sobbing.

Ellie stared at them, eyes wide.

“She's not mine,” Jean finally said.

“Oh. He… You… wow. I'm… Really? You're an aunt, Jean?”

Jeannie looked at her brother, eyebrows raised in a silent question. Rodney held her gaze and swallowed, knowing the next words out of his mouth would make the decision final, either way.

“Yes, she is,” he said, never breaking the eye contact.

“Yeah,” his sister agreed with a wide grin. “A proud aunt.”

“Uncle Mer!” Madison called from the swings. “Can Gabby come play, too?”

“I think she's a little young for swings!”

“No, silly! You have to sit with her!”

Rodney was about to reply that he was too _old_ for swings, but then he glanced at Ellie who looked like she was about to burst with questions. A quick threat analysis said that swings were highly preferable option out of those two.

“You know, she's right,” Rodney said to Jeannie and Ellie. “Gabby needs to play a little, too. It was nice to see you again but if you'll excuse me…” He headed towards the swing set before they had a chance to reply. He could feel his sister’s eyes burning holes in his back for abandoning her with Ellie.

Kaleb raised his eyebrows at him when Rodney and Gabby  reached the duo at the swings.

“Was that cruel?” he asked and glanced over his shoulder. “It was a little bit cruel, wasn’t it?”

“Maddy?” Kaleb said. “Why don’t you ask your mom to push you for a change, huh?”

“Is this like when we rescue you from Mrs Williams?”

“Yes, it’s exactly like that.” He then elaborated to Rodney, sensing his confusion: “A neighbor. She has dementia and she thinks I’m his nephew. Keeps telling me the same family gossip from fifteen years ago, over and over again.”

“Mom! Come here! Daddy doesn’t push me high enough.”

“Hey now,” Kaleb chuckled. “No need to exaggerate.”

Madison just giggled and kept swinging. Jeannie turned to look at them and gave a grateful smile.

“Be right there!”

Rodney glanced at the swing and tried to figure out how exactly he could get safely settled in it with a baby. In the end he pushed the baby to Kaleb for a moment while he sat down, then wrapped his arms around the chains and took the girl back. It only worked because the seat was very narrow, but that also meant it was very uncomfortable.

Just as they had managed to get settled, Jeannie reached them with the baby carriage, looking furious.

“Sorry,” Rodney said. “Self preservation kicked in before courtesy did.”

“I would punch you if you weren’t holding my niece,” she said to her brother.

“Niece?” Kaleb asked.

“I thought you hadn’t decided yet,” Jeannie said. “But you told Madison?”

“No, I didn’t.” Rodney frowned.

“She asked if Gabby can come play, too.”

“Oh, that.”

“You like?” Madison asked with a wide grin. “It was my idea.”

“You let my preschooler name your child?”

“Gabrielle Meredith McKay,” Madison said with the same grin on her face, clearly pleased with herself.

“Hey, I made no promises about the Meredith part.”

“Well it sort of fits,” Kaleb said.

“I hate to say this but it does,” Jeannie agreed.

“Well I guess that’s settled, then.” Rodney sighed and glanced down at the baby who was completely oblivious to the conversation around her, thoughtfully gnawing at her fist. “I don’t think she likes the swings much. My butt certainly doesn't.”

He offered the baby to Kaleb so he could get up safely but much to their surprise Gabby reached out for Jeannie instead. It took a second for her to recover but then she gladly took the girl.

“Why the change of heart, huh? Did you figure out we're family now?”

Gabby looked at her aunt and tilted her head to the side a little like she was considering the words, then looked around, searching for Rodney with her eyes.

“Could be the ponytail,” Rodney thought out loud as he took the girl back. “Maybe she likes you better with your hair pulled back.”

“Uncle Meredith?” Madison called. “Can we go to the slide next?”

Rodney looked at Jeannie, eyes wide with panic.

“Welcome to fatherhood,” Kaleb said.

“Having a kid is a lot more than feeding her and changing diapers and dragging her around,” Jeannie said.

Madison had already grabbed her father's hand and was running towards the slide in the opposite corner of the playground.

“Madison said you can teach me how to braid Gabby's hair,” Rodney said, his gaze following the girl dashing through the park. “I mean, when she has a little more of it.”

“I can definitely do that.” She smiled at her brother and gave his free hand a squeeze. “You’d better go to the slide now before Madison comes to drag you there, though.”

“Right. Slide…”


	9. Chapter 9

The Daedalus got called away on an urgent mission and Rodney and Gabby had to fly across the continent in a crowded military transport. It was better than flying commercial but not by much. Eventually they made it to SGC and now they were  in the briefing room, looking at the gate through the window and waiting for the General to finish the last official documents about the adoption before they could step through the gate and head home.

“So I heard you chose to keep her,” Sam said, startling Rodney who hadn't heard her come in.

“I did,” Rodney said with a nod. “Took a moment to convince the IOA, though. Especially because Atlantis is sort of a military base in the middle of a war zone But... Elizabeth spoke in my favor apparently.”

Sam nodded.

“As did Carson. And John and Teyla and doctor Zelenka, along with seventeen other people. We got a transmission with the video recordings yesterday.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Even Ronon offered to babysit.”

“See, that one I highly doubt.”

“Well he might have phrased it a little differently but the sentiment was there. Something about the kid not hating him and the feeling being mutual for short periods of time occasionally.”

“Hmm… That sounds more like him. There's still suspiciously many words there, though.”

Sam chuckled.

“So what's her name?” she nodded towards the baby. 

“Oh! Gabrielle. Gabby.” He smiled at the girl who was strapped into the car seat, playing with a plush toy she got from Madison. It had quickly become her favorite thing in the world. Well, after Rodney that was. Or perhaps it was a tie. To be honest he was a little bit jealous of the green bunny.

“Gabby McKay. It has a nice ring to it,” Sam said and leaned down to tickle the girl. Gabby was wearing a pink dress that had a couple of yellow flowers on it. That was Madison's fault as well. One large backpack was full of girly clothes, mostly dresses, the girl had picked for her baby cousin. 

At least there were two suitcases with normal clothes he had picked with Jeannie. She seemed to be just as excited about the new addition to the family as Madison but at least she wasn't jumping and squealing in front of the baby clothing department. Much. 

“Yeah, I guess it does.”

“She's a lucky girl, Rodney, to have you as a father.”

“And you as a godmother,” Rodney replied and when Sam's eyes widened in surprise, he quickly continued. “If you're interested, of course. I mean... She already has one and I understand if you say no, I just thought-”

“Yes. I'd love to have her as my goddaughter, Rodney.”

“Oh. Well... great.”

Sam chuckled and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. “You'll do just fine. Don't worry.”

“Hmm...” Rodney frowned a little and then turned to speak to his daughter. “Should I be worried, Gabby? You seem to be quite a chick magnet considering you're four months old and a girl.”

“Chick magnet?” Sam asked, an amused expression on her face.

“Well you know... Women don't usually... kiss me. And you should have seen us in the grocery store yesterday when I was trying to pick diapers for her. I have never seen that many unarmed women heading towards me.”

Sam chuckled and patted him on the shoulder. “You'll do  _ just _ fine, Rodney. Just let me know if I can help somehow.”

“Actually, you can. See, she likes bedtime stories but we didn't actually have children's books in Atlantis and I figured the main point was to keep talking so I've been explaining the basic principle of naquadah generators to her every night since we found her.”

Sam grinned at him.

“Yes, well, it works. Which is the main thing.  And now she loves the word naquadah and doesn't want to hear any other stories. But Jeannie said I should write it down so it's the same story every night because apparently kids like that.”

“So I've heard.”

“My dear sister also decided that we should make a more kid-friendly version of it.”

Rodney pulled a folded paper from his pocket and handed it to Sam.

“Once upon a time there was teeny tiny naquadah molecule that wanted to do great things when it grew up,” Sam read out loud and then turned to look at Rodney, eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Personally I think that's the wrong perspective because from the molecule’s point of view it's a tale of heroic suicide which doesn't sound like a calming bedtime story but children's literature is not exactly my specialty and I could use some help with that if you're interested.”

“What makes you think I'm any better at it than you are?”

“Well you've been explaining this stuff to General O'Neill for years. If you can make him understand, a toddler won't be a problem.”

* * *

When they made it to the midway station, there was a malfunction in the Pegasus gate dialing computer and they were stuck for sixteen hours until Rodney could get it fixed. That was after the seven hours of traveling on Earth.  Rodney couldn't sleep because he needed to work and he couldn't work because he needed to entertain the baby who disliked the situation even more than he did. 

He was about ready to burst into Elizabeth's office and say he'd changed his mind about keeping the kid. When they finally stepped into the gateroom on Atlantis, all he wanted was his own bed and some sunlight, though he was still uncertain about the exact order of the two.

Rodney was so focused on his misery that he managed to miss the fact that the gateroom was full of people. Only when John cleared his throat and said “Surprise?” did he lift his gaze from the fussing baby and see the crowd. 

There was a huge banner on the rail of the second floor that said “Welcome home Gabrielle McKay.”

The only sound he managed to make was: “Huh?”

“We made a 'Welcome back Rodney' banner, too, but ran out of space where to put it,” John said and rubbed his hands together, obviously waiting for some kind of reaction.

“Oh. That's... nice. Good to be back.”

Elizabeth took a step forward and smiled at him. “We also took the liberty to get you bigger quarters. Two bedrooms. And there are presents for the newest addition to the expedition.”

“Thank you. Uh... It's nice that you're all... here. But can we postpone this a few hours? We're both quite cranky and to be honest we just need a nap.”

“Seems like Gabby is already sleeping,” John said and nodded towards Rodney's chest.

“Huh?” He glanced down, surprised to see the girl almost asleep, drooling on his shirt. “I swear she hasn't slept for the last twenty-four hours!” he groaned. “And  _ now _ she's asleep?”

“Perhaps she knows she is home?” Teyla suggested.

“Hmm,” Rodney mumbled, still looking at the child that was now officially his. “Smart kid,” he said softly and patted her back through the fabric. “So, somebody said presents? Is there food?”

“Of course there's food, McKay!” John chuckled. “We wouldn't throw you a party without food.”

* * *

The team helped Rodney and Gabby unpack in his new quarters. On top of the things they brought from Earth, they got a lot of clothes, blankets and toys in the combined baby shower and welcome home party. Luckily a lot of people also gave “gift cards”, offers to babysit or teach skills to the kid. Rodney was already panicking about the idea of Gabby riding a bicycle around Atlantis in a few years.

The team had painted the nursery walls with pale yellow and decorated them with painted trees and butterflies.

“What’s that?” Rodney asked and walked closer to a gray blob on one wall.

“Ah…” John started. “That’s… Zelenka’s interpretation of a naquadah reactor. He figured the kid would be seeing a lot more of those than plants and animals so we… let him go ahead with it.”

“He’s not wrong. I guess we’re lucky that he’s a better scientist than he is an artist. I appreciate the effort, though.”

“I’ll be sure to forward that to him.”

“Right, then…” Rodney looked around the room. “It’s… nice. Not what I would have done myself but if I don’t think I would have done  _ anything _ myself.”

“You are welcome,” Teyla said. "Both of you."

“Welcome to the family, Gabby girl,” John said.

“You’re stuck with us now,” Ronon agreed.


	10. Chapter 10

_ “Rodney,”  _ came the voice in his earpiece.

“What can I do for you, Elizabeth?”

_ “You're needed off-world. You leave in fifteen.” _

“No, I don't. Paternity leave, remember?” He had been promised a week off and then two more of just lab work. It had only been four days now since they got back to Atlantis.

_ “Emergency situation. They need your expertise. Get geared up and come here with Gabby.” _

* * *

“I'm not leaving her!” were the first words when Rodney stepped into Elizabeth's office, carrying the baby in a basket because the sling didn't sit well on top of the tact vest. He did gear up, though, so deep down he knew it was an argument he couldn't win.

“There's an ancient lab. Someone started a delayed self destruct. If it goes off, the whole city will be destroyed. Ten thousand people, Rodney. Not to mention the information.”

“How much time left?”

“Four hours and ten minutes now.”

“How far from the gate?”

“Half a click.”

“Fine,” he sighed. 

That was close enough that at least he could save himself if he couldn't save the city. It was the first time he even considered the chance of failure before he got started on a problem but it was also the first time he was going on a mission knowing someone was waiting for him to come home, someone  _ needed _ him to come home.

“But I'll hold you personally responsible it something happens to her,” he told Elizabeth. “If there's a crises, you'll makes sure she's in the first group to be evacuated.  _ First _ . Not second, not third, first.”

“Of course,” she nodded. “I'll send her through the gate with the civilians. Someone she's familiar with. We'll take care of her, Rodney. We won't just forget her in the corner if that's what you're worried about.”

“I know, I know... I'm just...”

“Worried. Like any parent. We'll take care of Gabby, make sure you take care of yourself, Rodney.”

“Alright.” He lifted the basket on Elizabeth's desk and flashed a nervous smile at the baby. “I need to go to work, Gabby. Elizabeth is gonna take care of you. And probably half a dozen other people, too. I'll be back in a few hours, OK? Don't worry.”

He tickled her tummy but Gabby didn't giggle like she usually did, this time she just smiled.

“Do you want me to leave you two alone for a moment?” Elizabeth asked when Rodney just looked at the baby for a long while.

“No, it's OK,” he said and snapped out of his thoughts. “I'm just gonna...” He pointed a thumb over his shoulder towards the door. “Go now.”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth called when he had taken two steps. “She's your daughter now. We know you care about her. We won't hold it against you.”

“I'm not... really good at this whole thing.”

“It's OK,” Elizabeth said and walked from behind her desk. “Just hold her for a moment. I'll be in the gateroom. Bring her there when you're ready to leave.”

“Right...” Rodney mumbled and looked at the girl whose lower lip was starting to tremble. He took off his tact vest and picked her up. “Shh. It's OK. I need to go away for a little while. You're going to hang out with Elizabeth and the rest of the gang, OK? Might even see Carson later. They'll take good care of you. I should be back by the time you wake up from your nap. How does that sound? You gonna be a good girl while I'm gone?” He made sure to keep his voice steady and casual instead of slipping to babbling intonation but the girl frowned nonetheless.

* * *

 

“Ready to go, Rodney?” Elizabeth asked when Rodney walked down the stairs into the gateroom. He gave her the baby and tickled her tummy a little before he stepped back.

“Almost,” he said and took a deep breath before he started explaining the rules and tricks to Elizabeth: “Her food and diapers are in my room. I left the door open. She likes to be carried, the sling is on the nightstand. The box next to my computer controls the crib. First button swings it, seconds makes the mobile go round and third opens a radio contact. There's a sort of mp3 player on my nightstand next to the sling, I recorded the sounds of my lab on it, that might help her calm down if she's restless. She likes to sleep on my chest so if she doesn't calm down for her nap, you might want to try that but I don't know how that works with the” He made some gestures in front of his chest, indicating breasts. Elizabeth raised her eyebrows.

“Right,” Rodney mumbled and frowned.

“Is that all?” Elizabeth asked, doing her best to hide the amusement.

“I think so. Just radio me if you have questions.”

John cleared his throat and Rodney turned to look at him. “McKay, you sure you're good to go?”

“Sure.”

“I mean... Are you sure you can concentrate on the mission?”

“Of course. More than ever. Not that I don't normally concentrate. But now I'm gonna go there, fix the lab and come back. In record time.”

* * *

 

“What's wrong with her?” Rodney demanded to know as soon as he reached the infirmary and heard Gabby crying. “Is she injured? Why is she here?”

“Calm down, Rodney,” Carson said and pulled Rodney's other arm on his shoulder to help the man hop towards the infirmary bed. John was assisting on the other side. “Lass is hungry. It was my turn to babysit, that's why she's here. But you, Rodney... What happened to your ankle?”

“It's fine. Just a little sore.”

“It's not  _ fine _ ,” John grunted. “He can't put any weight on it.”

“Well it can't be that bad,” Carson said with a little frown. “He'd be asking for morphine if it was anything worse than a sprain.”

“I'm fine,” Rodney mumbled and hopped off the bed. “I'll go feed her and then you can wrap the ankle.”

“Rodney!” Carson yelped and pushed him back on the bed. Then he turned to look at the rest of the team. “Anyone else injured?”

“Nope,” John answered for all of them. “He was running towards the gate and tripped. The rest of us weren't in such a hurry.”

“Can one of you go pick Gabby? I need to examine this ankle.”

“I'll do it,” Ronon offered.

“Thank you,” Carson and Rodney said in unison.

“Alright,” the doctor sighed and took a hold of the injured ankle. “Does this hurt?” he asked as he twisted it gently.

“A little,” Rodney admitted, keeping his gaze at the office door where Gabby was.

“How much?”

“OK, a lot. Just strap it up and give me crutches. I'll be fine.”

Carson heaved a sigh. Normally the problem with Rodney was that he assumed every injury to be lethal. This time it was the other way around and he had no way of knowing how painful the foot really was. “I need to scan it, Rodney.”

* * *

 

“It's broken,” Carson said as soon as he was standing next to the infirmary bed. He glared at Rodney who was feeding the baby.

“No, it's not.”

“See that over there?” he pointed at the x-ray picture. “There's not supposed to be a gap in there, Rodney.”

“Huh?” The scientist frowned and stared at the picture.

“Just a hairline fracture but I need to put a cast on it.”

“It doesn't feel broken,” Rodney argued. “I think I would notice if it was broken. I have very low pain tolerance, Carson. I don't just break my ankle and not notice! There's something wrong with me!”

The doctor raised his eyebrows. Now this was more like the normal Rodney.


	11. Chapter 11

Turned out that crutches and a baby didn't exactly match.  Only way to carry Gabby around was in the sling and even when Rodney switched from a diaper bag to a diaper backpack, it was still hard to carry all the necessities with him or comfort the girl if she got upset.

“Alright,” he sighed when he sat down on the edge of his bed. He didn't feel safe carrying Gabby around while hopping on the crutches but he couldn't exactly push her in the baby carriage either.

“Think, McKay. You're a genius. You can figure it out.”

* * *

“Whoa! _What_ is that?” John asked when he rounded a corner and bumped into some kind of… thing. On wheels. With Gabby in a car seat perched on top of it. “You almost ran me over, McKay!”

“It has proximity sensors,” Rodney said. “It stopped when you got too close.”

“Well, _I_ didn't stop before I ran into it.”

“Yes, yes, yes, I need to factor in human reaction time. I'll adjust the range of the sensors. It's a prototype.”

“I repeat my original question. What is that?”

“It's a baby carriage for one-legged scientist. You like?”

“You built a radio controlled baby carriage?”

“Well it's more of a… semi-robotic than remote controlled one. It stays three feet in front of me and can round obstacles on it's own.”

“But you _can_ control it, right? You're not just trusting some computer program to drive your kid around Atlantis?”

“Of course not. I have buttons in my crutches.” He proudly presented the control unit. “Well, technically it could also drive solo but we haven't tried that yet.”

John heaved a sigh. “What next, huh? Wait… where did you get the parts?”

“I borrowed them from a MALP.”

“You dismantled an intergalactic probe, property of the US Air Force, to make a baby carriage?”

“Yes.”

“Of course you did.”

* * *

Elizabeth stood in the doorway of the lab, observing Rodney and Gabby. Her lead scientist was playing peek-a-poo with his daughter who was laughing in her seat on his desk.

"Alright," Rodney finally sighed. "That's enough of that, okay? I need to finish this simulation now.”

The girl must have made a disappointed expression because Rodney gently stroked her head.

"You'll survive. Just a little longer, okay? Then we go give you a bath, huh? Get you in your favorite jammies. Hey now. None of that. Oh for…" The man rolled his eyes and then covered them with his hands again to continue the game.

Elizabeth chuckled in the doorway and startled Rodney.

"How long have you stood there?"

"I thought you hated that game?" Elizabeth said instead of answering.

"Well I've been informed that parenting means you have to make sacrifices. Rule number two, apparently."

"What's rule number one?"

"Love them." Rodney said, his gaze aimed at the kid, obviously awkward about discussing the topic. "And make sure they know it. Personally I think that's two rules but general consensus seems to be that they go together."

Elizabeth smiled.

"Was there something you needed, Elizabeth?" He turned to look at her again, absentmindedly tickling Gabby's tummy with his left hand while he spoke.

"Not really. We were just talking how we haven't seen you for a couple of days."

"Well here I am. Moving around is not a whole lot of fun with one leg and one baby so socializing hasn't been very high on my priorities because it requires leaving our quarters."

"We can help, Rodney. That's what friends are for," Elizabeth said softly.

"I can manage."

"I understood the whole lab takes part in caring for her while you work."

"That's different. They work for me. They get paid for helping me."

"From what I've heard, they all volunteered. We're having a little get-together tonight. Snacks and board games. Ronon volunteered to stay with Gabby."

"Then why isn't he here, huh?"

"He's practicing his lullaby repertoire," Elizabeth said with a smirk. When Rodney clearly didn't find it amusing, she elaborated: "He just came from off-world. He's taking a quick shower before he meets you at your quarters."

"You're actually serious."

"Very much so."

"Huh."

"So… Are you coming?"

Rodney glanced at Gabby who was gnawing at her fist thoughtfully.

"Well… I mean… if she's okay with it… I guess I could… maybe for a little while."

"Excellent."

* * *

"Rodney," John said and snapped his fingers in front of the scientist. "Earth to McKay. Your turn."

"Technically it's Lantea to McKay. And I quit." He lowered his cards on the table, picture side up.

"It's called folding in poker," John corrected. "And you would have won with that hand!"

"Well whatever it's called I'm doing it. I just remembered something that I need to take care of."

Rodney stepped away from the table and tapped his radio.

"Ronon? I just realized I left Gabby's green bunny on the changing table. She likes the yellow one just fine but the green is her favourite so if she--"

_"Your offspring is asleep, McKay. Relax."_

"Well technically she's not my offspring because she's adop--"

_"I'm turning my radio off now."_

"You can't do that! What if there's an emerg-- Ronon? Ronon!"

"If there is an emergency, he will take her to the infirmary," Teyla reassured him.

"Well what if it's him who's injured and then Gabby is there all alone, huh? What then?"

"McKay!" John barked. "Sit down, take a deep breath and keep playing. Besides, radio won't help him much if he's injured, now will it?”

The scientist glared at him for a few long seconds and John just looked back, eyebrows raised.

“I hate it but that actually helps,” Rodney admitted.

“Excellent. Your turn, McKay.”

* * *

There was a knock on the lab door just as Rodney was buckling Gabby to her seat on the robotic baby carriage. And another knock before he made it to the door with the vehicle.

"What now? The door was closed for a reason."

"And good evening to you, too," John said with a wide smile.

"Did I forget a team meeting or something?"

"Nope. We decided we've had enough of you being a stubborn ass and from now on we're going to help you in childcare whether you like it or not."

"Huh. And you got the short straw?"

"For what it's worth, I volunteered. Now how may I be of assistance?"

"Well you can take Gabby because you clearly need a reminder why this is a horrible idea."

Much to their surprise, though, the girl _didn't_ cry this time. She simply frowned at John, then glanced at Rodney like she was asking for his opinion on the matter.

"It's okay, Gabby. John is a good guy."

"Hear that, kid? I'm a good guy. I don't think your dad has ever called me that before."

"You know I'm not comfortable with the d-word, Sheppard. Parent, guardian, the man in charge… Anything except the…" He made a vague hand gesture instead of finishing the sentence.

"My apologies." John turned to speak to the girl again. "I don't think your _Rodney_ has ever called me that before."

"Well don't let it get to your head. You just took me by surprise. She's gotten a lot better at tolerating people lately but I wasn't expecting her to be _that_ far yet."

Rodney hopped to the desk to turn off the computer which had just finished the last simulation.

"What a way to drop a guy back to the Earth. Your dinner is waiting. We went off-world today and brought back this weird looking purple plant thing that Teyla said is perfect for kids getting used to solids. So you've got your meal waiting already, princess."

"We are _not_ calling her princess," Rodney sighed and glanced at the Colonel over his shoulder. "She's not going to be some pink little thing waiting for a prince to save her."

"Well they have warrior princesses, too."

"She's not going to be beating up bad guys in a leather mini skirt either."

"No, you're absolutely right. We'll get her BDUs and a machine gun. Though Teyla could give her lessons in the kicking ass in a skirt thing. You know, as a backup plan."

"Why can't you just call her something normal like… I don't know. Honey or darling or pumpkin."

"Pumpkin?"

"Even beetroot would be preferable to princess."

John looked at the girl thoughtfully. "I guess we'll stick to Gabby for now. But don't you worry, little one. We'll find you a suitable nickname sooner or later."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay, everyone! I changed jobs at the end of June and it really drained my energy reserves. I almost ran out of material because I had divided my original drafts into longer chapters than I intended but I just had a rather relaxing and productive vacation and managed to write quite a bit so I'm back.
> 
> In addition to this chapter I've written chapters 13 and 14 (~1500 words each), plus one very short epilogue scene which will bring this up to the originally estimated 15 chapters. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the remaining adventures of Gabby and the gang!

“Please tell me Gabby is with you,” Rodney sighed when he stepped into Radek's lab.

“Well she was here an hour ago,” the Czech said and Rodney sighed.

“Yeah, yeah... And where did she go after that?”

“You know that woman from the marine biology department?"

"I'm fairly certain there are several women at the marine biology department, Radek. Which doesn't help in the least because I don't remember any of their names."

“Oh. Well, I don't know her name either, but she has long, dark hair and those silver glasses that--"

"Yes, yes, still don't know her no matter how you describe her."

"Right. Well she promised to look after Gabby when I got called to work.”

“Of course she did...” Rodney slumped against the doorframe and Zelenka frowned, wondering what exactly was wrong here.

“We came from mission two hours ago,” Rodney explained. “I've been running around the city since then, trying to find out where my daughter is but everyone keeps telling me they had her an hour or two ago but then gave her to someone else. You know, this would have been so much easier back when she couldn't stand women. There would have been fifty percent less suspects.”

“Well, I can go find that marine biologist for you if you want, Rodney.”

“I have a better idea,” Rodney mumbled and took off towards the control room.

* * *

“ _This is Doctor Rodney McKay_ ,” came the annoyed voice from the speakers all over Atlantis a moment later. “ _Whoever has my daughter, please return her to the gateroom within the next ten minutes. McKay out._ ”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth scowled. “You did _not_ just use the citywide intercom to look for your daughter, did you?”

“Hey, it was you who lost her.”

“I didn't lose her, Rodney. I gave her to Marie, the nurse, when I got called into an important meeting.”

“Marie gave her to Carson who gave her to that Swedish girl who works in the labs, she gave her to Lorne who gave her to some brunette in the commissary, gender unknown, then there were two or three people before Zelenka and apparently Zelenka gave Gabby to some marine biologist. That's when I gave up on running and just used the intercom.”

“Alright,” Elizabeth sighed. “I admit we need a better system for keeping track of where she is. But you know she's safe, Rodney.”

“I don't care that she's safe. I want to know _where_ she is safe.”

“Doctor McKay?” came a hesitant voice behind them.

“What!” he snapped and turned around, only to find a marine holding his daughter. Not a marine _biologist_ , a marine. He wondered how many times the girl had been passed around since Zelenka. She seemed perfectly happy and unharmed, though.

“Uh, your daughter?”

“I can see that,” he stepped towards them and took the girl from his arms. “Thank you.”

* * *

 “Carson!” Rodney called and all but ran to the infirmary, holding the little girl in his arms.

“Is something wrong, Rodney?” the doctor asked and took the stethoscope from around his neck as the man lowered Gabby on one of the infirmary beds. She seemed perfectly happy and healthy which was a good sign.

“What? No. Look!” He pointed at the girl who was curiously looking around herself, all the new sounds and lights distracting her. “Gabby!” Rodney said and snapped his fingers a couple of times to get the girl's attention. “Come on, do your thing.”

“Why isn't she wearing socks, Rodney?  It's almost winter and you don't want to deal with a six-month-old with a cold.”

“Just... trust me on this one, Carson. Just shh. Come on, Gabby.”

When the men had stared at her for a good ten seconds, the girl started giggling and swinging her limbs around, like she was mocking their curiosity. She grabbed her ankle and brought the tiny toes into her mouth.

“See!” Rodney yelped and gestured towards the baby. “She's an acrobat!”

“Rodney,” Carson sighed, amused. “That’s a perfectly normal position for a child her age. All babies do that at some point.”

“They do?” The scientist frowned and looked from Carson to the excited little girl who had now brought the other foot in her mouth, too. “Hmm... I thought she was special.”

“Oh, she is,” Carson chuckled and tickled the girls tummy. “I'm sure no other little girl has such an easily excited Rodney taking care of her."

“Oh, speaking of caretaking. I’m sure you’re happy to hear she finally figured out how to roll from her back to her tummy so she doesn’t do that panicked tortoise thing anymore that bothers you so much. So feel free to rejoin the babysitting pool. There is a new problem, though, that she tends to roll from one corner of the room to the other when I’m not watching and I’ve had to cushion all furniture.”

“Ay. Just wait ‘till she learns how to walk, Rodney.”

* * *

 “Rodney…” Carson sighed and took the jar from him. “I know you are quite desperate but I cannot allow you to use this before I've done some tests.”

“It's perfectly safe!” Rodney argued. 

“You cannot be certain of that, Rodney.”

“My people have used this remedy for generations, doctor Beckett,” Teyla said with a smile. “It is safe. And also very efficient.”

“See?”

“I'm not willing to risk your daughter's health, Rodney, just so you can get a good night's sleep.”

“Fine. Then you take her for the next twelve hours. That way I'll get some sleep and her health remains perfectly intact.”

“Of course,” Carson nodded. “She's not a demon, Rodney. She's teething.”

Rodney huffed. “We'll see if that opinion survives the night.”

* * *

At nine o'clock sharp the next morning Carson was standing at the door of the McKay residence.

“Teyla turned out okay,” he said in a way of greeting and handed him the child and the opened jar of the herbal paste.

“See? Sometimes empirical data is more valuable than your precious little tests.”

“I'd love to stay and argue about that but I'm going to take a nap now.” He gave a humorless smile and turned to walk away.

“Carson?” Rodney called after him. “Thank you.”

“You are a brave man, Rodney. I don't think I could do that on my own.”

“Well in my defence I'm not. I'm getting plenty of help.”

“I hope you forgive me but it will be a few days before I offer mine.”

Rodney huffed and closed the door.

* * *

 “Alright…” Rodney sighed as he picked Gabby from her crib. It was Saturday and he was officially off for the whole day, per Elizabeth's direct orders. “Now, I’d like to remind you that this was Teyla’s idea, okay? So when you get upset, you get upset at her, okay?”

The girl seemed to consider his words carefully as she gnawed at her fist.

“She thinks it would do you good to spend a day without gadgets. Just you and me. Human interaction, she called it. Well probably with a bit more Teyla-like term but anyway. So no driving around in the robo-carriage or your semi-automatic playground thing. We need to ask if jumpers count as gadgets, though.”

The girl looked at him with her eyes wide.

“I know, I know... Let’s start with breakfast and worry about the rest later.”

Rodney put the girl in her high chair and opened the door of the mini fridge.

“Do you want your porridge with the white stuff, the brown stuff or the distantly purplish stuff?” He glanced at the girl who was excitedly pointing at the fridge, clearly having chosen her favorite already. “This one?” he asked, holding the brown jar and only got a frown in response. “This one?” he tried the next one and the girl grinned happily. “Purplish stuff it is,” he announced and opened the lid. 

“What am I going to feed you if we ever go back to Earth,” he mumbled as he prepared the girl's breakfast.

No matter how he tried - and Rodney had gotten quite good at mimicking jumper engines - only a third of the food ended up in the girl, the rest was _on_ her. Well, also on Rodney, the highchair, the floor and the table. The cleanup took more time than the actual meal and in the end he just took the two of them and the chair into the shower. Once they were clean again, Rodney realized that he still had ten hours, minus nap times, to fill with entertainment before it was bedtime for the kid. He'd gotten used to having a few hours every day when somebody else was looking after the girl.

"Oh, I have an idea! Let's go see if we can find someone to help with it, huh?"

An hour later Teyla was walking towards the gym when she heard someone call out her name. She followed the voice into one of the rooms and found Rodney, Radek and Gabby sitting on the floor around a laptop.

"We need to borrow your head," Rodney announced to his teammate.

"My head?"

"Well you can keep it attached to the rest of your body, don't worry."

"What, exactly, is it that you are doing?"

"We’re learning to braid hair," Zelenka explained.

“Yes. My sister sent me this video tutorial--” Rodney lifted the laptop so that Teyla could see the paused video of Jeannie making a French braid on Maddison. “And we need someone with actual hair to practice.” He glared at Radek who raised his hands in surrender.

“I told you I was the wrong person to help you with this,” he reminded him.

"Well you're better than nothing. Gabby doesn't like to stay still long enough."

"She is, however, very enthusiastic helper with the practicing."

Just as Zelenka said this, Gabby pulled herself up using his shoulder as leverage, and tugged at the scientists hair. He mumbled a few chosen words under his breath.

"Language, Radek," Rodney huffed.

"She doesn't understand Czech."

"Well she will if you repeat that often enough."

"Alright. I will help you," Teyla said with a smile.

"Great," Zelenka said and started to get up.

"Would you rather practice on my hair or would you like me to show you what to do?"

"Now there's an idea!" Rodney exclaimed and grabbed a hold of Radek's forearm, then forcefully yanked him to the floor again. "Let's start with that."

* * *

"I'm afraid to ask," John said when he went to pick Rodney and Teyla for lunch and took a look at the crew.

Radek was just walking out, one perfect French braid on either side of his head and a pained expression on his face. Teyla's head was full of what John suspected to be beginnings of fancy braids, though mostly they just looked like messy attempts to twist strands of hair around each other.

"Look!" Rodney pointed at Gabby. "It's not perfect but in my defence the instructions my sister sent me were flawed."

"Oh," John said and took a good look at the slightly wonky braid meandering on top of the girl's head. It was rather impressive considering that most of her hair was two inches long. "That's… a braid."

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"It's… a very good braid, Rodney. As far as I can tell, anyway."

"Thank you."


	13. Chapter 13

“Rodney...” Elizabeth sighed, a clear warning tone in her voice, her arms crossed as she stood in the doorway of the lab. 

“What?” he asked, his eyes never leaving the console. “I told you it’ll take another hour before I have any results for you. I’m a genius but I’m not a miracle worker. Well not on a daily basis anyway, I save that for life and death situations.”

“Have you, by any chance, tampered with the city’s systems recently?”

“Oh, I made some minor modifications for safety reasons.”

“So I heard. You can't alter the systems of an entire Ancient city to accommodate your daughter, Rodney.”

“Well it's not doing any harm,” Rodney defended himself. “Just a couple of doors closing automatically in case she wanders too far on her own. She's crawling surprisingly fast.”

“I have noticed that, yes. I thought we had a babysitting schedule set up? I was unaware that the city itself had volunteered on the list.”

“But the city likes her.”

It was true. In some odd way the city seemed to react to Gabby's presence like it did to those with a strong ATA gene. There were even some functions no one else had been able to activate, like how the lights dimmed when she fell asleep in a brightly lit room.

A couple of times Gabby had crawled away on her own and fallen asleep in a storage room corner somewhere. Before they even noticed, there was a random system malfunction right around the area that alerted the others.

“Still,” Elizabeth said firmly.

“So you want me to remove them?”

She stared at him thoughtfully for a few seconds. “No,” she finally sighed. “I'll let everyone know what's going on so they don't report it as malfunctions.”

“Thank you.”

“Just make sure you run any future modifications by me before proceeding. Where is our mini explorer anyway? Did she sneak away again?”

“She's on the mainland with Teyla, learning how to interact with her peers.”

“Playdate. It's called a playdate, Rodney,” Elizabeth said with a smile.

“Well whatever you call it, that's the purpose it serves. They'll be back tomorrow.”

“Alright. Make sure you don't work through the night because you miss her.”

“I can't promise you that,” he admitted with a little grimace.

* * *

 “Doctor Weir!” the technician yelped, drawing Elizabeth's attention from the wildly blinking city map. She was trying to determine the status of their current situation, and it didn't look good. When she raised her gaze, he pointed at the gate where symbols began to light up one by one.

“Who’s dialing and where are they going?”

Before he had the chance to answer, the jumper bay doors opened.

 _“Whoever is flying that ship, abort immediately,”_ she called into the intercom.

“Doctor Weir? They are dialing the midway station.”

"What?" She looked around the room, searching for an explanation, and noticed Rodney tapping away with his laptop in the corner.

"Rodney! What are you doing?"

"I'm evacuating all underaged civilians."

"You are risking the safety of not only Midway Station but Earth as well, Doctor McKay! We can not afford to let this contagion spread. Stop immediately. We're all worried about Gabby but I already told you-"

"Yes, yes you did," Rodney mumbled and hit enter one last time, sending the jumper through the wormhole. The gate room was dead silent when the gate snapped shut.

"The city quarantined her in the jumper bay for a reason, Rodney."

"No, no, no, no. The city quarantined the corridor _leading_ to the jumper bay, not the actual bay itself."

"We can't know that! It might have been one of your childproofing routines that closed the jumper bay door!"

"Trust me on this. I checked the logs. She just got stuck there when all the people _responsible for her care_ ran away and left a nine-month-old alone in the jumper bay when the doors started to close around them."

"And in case you have forgotten, those people are currently assumed dead after falling ill and losing contact so I fail to see how them taking her with them would have been a preferable option."

Rodney looked somber. "Good point."

"You violated every possible safety protocol I can think of, Rodney," Elizabeth said with a stern look on her face.

"Yes, yes, I know that. Now let's fix this mess. By committing that safety violation I just released a large part of my brain capacity for solving this mess. You can thank me later. And I did send a note with her, explaining why she's there." 

Elizabeth spread her arms in exasperation but Rodney was already moving towards the screens to get a better idea of the status of the automatic safety functions. 

"Just out of curiosity…" John mumbled, standing next to Rodney at the console. "How did you manage that?"

"Huh? Oh, the jumper thing? It's remotely controlled."

"Well I knew _that_. I meant the part about getting Gabby in it."

"Well I tried to configure the robotic arm of the robo-carriage to pick her up but I didn't take into consideration how fast she'd move and I was in a bit of a hurry so in the end I just made it pick up her bunny and throw it into the jumper." Rodney made a gesture like he was throwing a basketball. "She crawled right in." Rodney grinned proudly at his ingenious plan.

"Gentlemen!" Elizabeth called. "More work, less talk, please. We have a quarter of the expedition fighting for their lives and no idea how to prevent the rest of us from joining them. Does anyone have any suggestions?"

* * *

"I know I've said it a few times already but thank you," Rodney said. His gaze was aimed firmly at the gate in front of them but there was no doubt that the words were for the woman standing next to him as they waited for the incoming wormhole. It had taken them a week to clean up the mess, both literally and figuratively, but miraculously they didn't lose anyone this time.

"For the record, I'm still not certain it was the right decision," Elizabeth said. "The IOA certainly doesn't think so. This incident proved what they were worried about from the beginning, that having a child on Atlantis would be a safety hazard in case of crises."

"For the record, Gabby was in no way responsible for the crisis, neither did she endanger anyone by her actions."

"No. _You_ did that part, more than enough for the both of you. But apparently the IOA believes you are too valuable to this expedition to throw in prison and since you made it very clear that you're not staying on Atlantis without your daughter… Here we are."

"Yes, yes. I've said I'm sorry. Repeatedly. Though I _did_ figure it out in the end and helped Carson develop a cure."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes but before she had time to respond, the gate activated and a few seconds later Jeannie stepped through, carrying Gabby who was fussing and sobbing but quieted the moment she saw where they were. A wide grin spread across her face at the sight of the Atlantis gateroom.

"See, Honey?" Jeannie said. "Back home, just like I promised. And look who's here, huh?" She pointed at Rodney and Gabby reached out towards him right away, babbling excitedly.

"Hey," Rodney sighed and made his way to them. He picked Gabby from his sister with a grateful smile and held the girl against his shoulder. "Did you have fun with Auntie Jeannie?"

The girl burrowed her face tighter against his shoulder and then, without a prior warning, bit him hard.

"Ow! What did you do that for?!"

Jeannie rushed in to take the girl back when Rodney's hold of her faltered.

"Oh, I don't know," Jeannie said as she bounced the girl in her arms while Rodney rubbed the injured shoulder. "Maybe the part where you tricked her into a spacecraft on her own and flew her across the galaxy? Or that she was held in quarantine for two days by men in orange spacesuits? And was then shipped to a planet she barely remembers, without any of her familiar belongings?"

Jeannie punched him in the shoulder and Rodney yelped again.

"What is it with the McKay women greeting me with violence? And she did have her bunny."

"Did you hear a single word of what I just said?"

"Yes, I did. I'm sorry. It was for her own good."

"Well _I_ know that, _you_ know that, but I'm not sure if _she_ knows that."

Suddenly Gabby extended her arms towards Rodney again, wanting to be picked up.

"If you bite me again, I'm going to drop you."

"You can't threaten a child like that! Especially when she has a very legitimate reason to chew you to pieces, Meredith."

"It wasn't a threat! It was a scientific fact. Any more damage to the arm and it won't hold her weight anymore."

This time, however, the girl just peppered his chin with slobbery kisses and patted his cheek, perfectly content.

Rodney glanced around the small crowd gathered in the gateroom.

"Is it just me or does the girl seem a bit bipolar?"

* * *

Rodney was working on his laptop in their quarters when Gabby pulled at his pant leg to get his attention. She had been happily gnawing at her toys in the corner but apparently she was done entertaining herself.

"What is it?"

She whimpered and pointed towards the bathroom doorway. Rodney's first thought was that she needed to pee but then he realized the girl was still a while away from potty training.

"Your bunny? Yes, you left your bunny there when we were brushing your teeth. You're perfectly capable of crawling four meters, Gabby."

The girl pointed towards the door again, an angry frown on her face.

"Oh! Don't worry. I won't lock the door and fly the bathroom across the galaxy this time if you follow your bunny into another room."

The girl sat down firmly on her butt, still glaring at him and pointing towards the other room where her favorite toy was.

"Fine, fine…" Rodney sighed and got up. "I'll get it for you. Please don't bite me."

* * *

"Come on, Cupcake," John said and lifted the girl onto his lap. "Uncle John is going to teach you how to fly a jumper, okay?"

"No," Rodney said as he got his bags settled into the corner and sat down in the seat next to them.

"Which part no?"

"All parts no. You're not calling her Cupcake and you're not teaching her how to fly yet."

"What would you consider an appropriate age for flying lessons then?"

"Six."

"Six, huh?"

"Well, open space that is. A little later for the takeoff and landing part probably."

"I can live with that. Hear that, Sweet Fruit? Just a few more years and maybe a gene therapy from Uncle Carson and you'll be acing this thing."

Rodney heaved a sigh at yet another nickname.

"Well she loves that purple fruit-vegetable-thing," John said. "And I don't know about you but I never learned the native name of that thing. It's unpronounceable."

"It's not unpronounceable. It starts with a _G_ and then there's that throat sound that's oddly aggressive somehow and an _e_ and--" Rodney frowned. "You're right. Though I would like to remind you once again that Gabby _is_ a nickname."

"You're not saying no, though."

"I must have missed that part. No."

John sighed and turned to talk to Gabby. "Alright then, Future Master Pilot. Your Rodney said no flying yet but he didn't say anything about learning the controls on the ground. We're gonna turn this thing on now so you just put your hand here…" He took hold of Gabby's hand and helped her push one of the buttons. "Aaand here. Sorry, you can't really reach so let me just--" He picked the girl up and moved her to the opposite end of the control panel to push another button and the aircraft hummed to life. "There you go. Ready for liftoff."

Gabby grinned at Rodney and clapped her hands.

"Well done, Gabby," Rodney said. "Now let's get you into your seat, okay?"

The girl sighed but lifted her arms, ready to be picked up and transferred to the back of the jumper for her car seat.

"You know, I've never crashed a jumper on our way to the mainland," John said when Rodney came back. "Maybe you could let her enjoy the view sometimes."

"Not until she's old enough to drive."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. I've been clinging to it, hoping more would come to me and I could add just a little more, just a little something, because it's hard to let go. But it's time. I'm posting this at the same time with the Epilogue which is technically the last chapter.
> 
> My apologies for the delay. Goodbyes are hard.

"Whoa!" John yelped and barely managed to step to the side before a large ball hit his shin. Before he knew it, he had an excited toddler pulling herself up using his pant leg, before she followed the ball into the corridor. She managed six steps before she fell down and continued on all fours.

"Sorry!" Rodney called from inside the lab. "I need to recalibrate it."

"Recalibrate what?" John asked and stepped into the room where Rodney had plugged his laptop to the robo-carriage and was typing away.

"What exactly are you doing, Rodney?"

"Oh, we're playing ball. Well, they're playing ball. I'm teaching the robo-carriage how to roll the ball and Gabby is--"

"Fetching," John finished the sentence.

"Well, yes but… I probably would have used a different phrase. They're supposed to roll it back and forth but the launch speed is slightly off and Gabby hasn't quite figured out the game yet. We'll work on that once I have the parameters set."

"Right. Sounds like fun."

"Yes. Once I get this to work, it'll free up a lot of my time. I already taught it how to practice walking with her."

"Oh, that's right. I saw her and Rocky walking in the corridor yesterday, hand in… robotic arm."

"Clever, huh? It never gets tired of going back and forth. Wait… Rocky?"

"Well robo-carriage is an awfully long word so we… shortened it to Rocky."

"And by we you mean…"

"Well, me."

"Of course. Can't we name it something else? It's just that my sister's friend used to have a dog named Rocky and it used to do this thing where it gnawed at my ankles whenever I sat down. Well, sometimes standing up as well. "

"What would you suggest, huh?"

"Well I don't have any suggestions right now but give me a--"

"Rocky it is. You do realize that you've externalized childcare to a remote controlled baby carriage, right?" he asked instead.

"Oh, it has enough sensors and self-learning subroutines now that I don't need to control it remotely most of the time. It's just a robot," Rodney said as he continued to tweak said subroutines on his laptop. "It's the closest thing to a pet she'll have on Atlantis. She needs someone to play with. Something to play with."

"See, that's the thing. I'm not sure which one of them is the pet here."

Rodney stopped typing and turned to look at him with a frown on his face.

"I mean…" John started and gestured towards the machine. "He tosses the ball and she fetches-" Sure enough his sentence was interrupted when Gabby rushed past him to get the ball back to the robotic arm. At least she was pushing it in front of her instead of carrying it in her mouth. She patted the side of the machine and it rolled, or more like kicked the ball towards the doorway again, this time with a lot more convenient speed. "And he takes her out for walks. Next you need to teach him how to hand out snacks and soon enough he'll teach her how to roll."

Rodney stared at him with wide eyes as Gabby made her way back to Rocky and a small hatch opened on the side, revealing a bowl of apple slices.

"Rodney…" John mumbled.

"Just… out of curiosity… What is the long term psychological damage associated with being raised as a dog by a robotic baby carriage?"

"You know, you might just win the Nobel prize for that case study so you'd better get writing."

* * *

“Gabby?” Rodney asked from his seat and glanced at the girl who was playing with her doll a couple meters away. “Could you hand me the screwdriver? The yellow one?” The girl liked to help him in the lab and he had color-coded the most common tools so they could learn the colors while she assisted. She got it wrong nine times out of ten but it didn't seem to bother the girl.

She was walking fine now, a little too well for Rodney's liking, but luckily the Atlantis was still keeping an eye on her. She seemed to have prioritised moving over talking, though, but they weren't too worried because it was clear she was a smart kid.

“No, yellow one,” Rodney told the girl when she picked the pink screwdriver. “Sun? Sun is yellow.”

The girl frowned like she was thinking hard, then picked the orange one.

“I realize that was a bad example because we just watched the sunset yesterday and that was very orange... Uh... Yellow? What is yellow... Oh! Your doll's hair. That's yellow.” He pointed at the doll on the floor and made some gestures to indicate braided hair. Then he quickly glanced around to make sure that nobody saw him and his pantomime show.

“Yes!” He exclaimed with a proud grin when the girl picked the right one. “That's right. Now bring it to me, Gabby.”

When the girl walked to his table, he took the tool and then scooped the girl up to sit on his lap.

“Well done, Gabby,” he whispered and kissed her temple. The girl giggled and returned the favor by planting a sloppy, wet kiss on his cheek.

“Rodney?” Zelenka called from the doorway.

“Yes?” he asked and swirled his chair around.

“One of the naquadah generators is only functioning at 80 percent. Can you take a look at it? I'm going off world in a few minutes.”

“Sure. Check naquadah generator. I'll add that on my list.”

“Na-na-daa!” Gabby yelled excitedly.

“Did you hear that?” Rodney turned to look at Radek with a wide grin on his face, and pointed at the girl on his lap.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“She spoke! It's her first word! Say it again, Gabby.”

“Na-na-daa?” the girl said, a little hesitant this time, obviously taken aback by the enthusiasm in Rodney's voice.

“Her first word is naquadah?” Zelenka asked and pushed his glasses higher on his nose.

“Yes! Isn't that great? I admit it's my fault because I didn't remember any fairy tales in the beginning so I've been telling her this child appropriate version of the principle of Naquadah reactors and now she's talking!” Rodney babbled excitedly, obviously proud of the girl. "I wonder how long it takes before she actually understands it. Come on, Gabby, we have to tell the others.” He got up, holding the girl, then picked the doll from the floor and walked past Zelenka. “We'll fix the generator, don't worry,” he said over his shoulder before he disappeared around the corner.

The Czech shook his head and smiled, as he listened to Rodney's quick footsteps. He hadn't missed how Rodney said they would fix it and he wondered how long it would take until the kid really knew her way around the Atlantis tech. 

She might not have Rodney's genes but it seemed like being a genius was contagious. They just hadn't realized that earlier because nobody wanted to spend that much time with Rodney in close quarters.

* * *

 “OK, let's do some practicing, huh?” Rodney said and the girl clapped her hands together excitedly. They were both sitting cross-legged on his bed, a few feet between them.

“You haven't had a whole lot of luck with my name before but since you're starting to figure out this speaking thing now… Rod-ney. OK? Can you say that? Rodney?”

The girl made a weird sound that was almost like “Lolly”

“No, Rodney. With an R. Rrrrrodney. See? Not that hard. Come one. Repeat after me. Rod-ney.”

“Na-na-daa!” The girl yelled and punched her tiny fist in the air.

“Yes, yes, you can say naquadah. And when you're a little older you'll actually understand what that word means. But it would be kind of nice if you could say my name.”

The girl just stared at him, frowning a little.

“OK, perhaps it's time to accept defeat on the Rodney front. Meredith?” There was no way he was going to teach his kid to call him McKay.

“Memeih?”

“Nice. But on second thought, I probably shouldn't teach you a name that I hate, huh?”

Rodney thought carefully what his options were. The girl was obviously talking now and it was just a matter of time before she would start calling him something. Now he just needed to figure out what he wanted that to be.

“Fine...” he finally sighed. “Dad? Can you call me Dad? Or Daddy.”

“Dada?”

“Yes, Dada.” He pointed at his own chest and smiled at the little girl. "See? Not that hard. We should have done this ages ago."

Gabby struggled onto her knees and crawled to Rodney. She climbed on his lap and pushed her small finger against his chest. “Dada Memeih?” she asked, looking all serious as she stared at his face.

“No, just Dada.”

The girl frowned and poked his chest a couple of times. “Dada Memeih!” she said firmly, sounding almost angry all of a sudden.

“Yes, my name is Meredith but I want you to call me Dad, OK?”

“Dada Memeih!”

“Oh for... Look, Gabby. Your middle name is Meredith, too. It gets a little confusing, OK?”

“Memeih?” the girl asked and pointed at her own chest.

“Gabrielle Meredith,” Rodney said and poked the girl's tummy. “Meredith Rodney,” he continued and pointed at himself. “We both have two names. You're called Gabby, I'm called Rodney.”

“Memeih?”

“And nobody is called Meredith.” At least not on Atlantis.

“Dada Memeih,” the girl said firmly and nodded. It was obvious she had made up her mind already.

“Fine. Call me whatever you want, kid,” he gave up with a sigh.

Gabby stood up on his lap and reached up to give a slobbery kiss on his cheek. “Dada Memeih,” she mumbled against his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Yeah,” he sighed and stroked his daughter's hair gently. “I love you, too, Gabby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> Thank you all for reading and my sincere apologies for the long delays between updates. Clearly I'm not ready for posting multichapter fics yet and should stick to oneshots.
> 
> I've really enjoyed my time with this odd little family and I hope you liked the journey as well. I will post a short epilogue at the same time so check that as well.


	15. EPILOGUE

"Dada Memeih? Up!" Gabby raised her arms, demanding to be picked up. Elizabeth had dropped Gabby at the lab instead of passing her on to the next volunteer when her babysitting shift ended because he was only a couple minutes from wrapping up the test. That was half an hour ago.

"You know, Dad would be a lot shorter, huh? I'm sorry but I'm busy now. Be a good girl and play with Rocky for a moment, OK? We'll go home soon."

"Gabby see!" the girl demanded.

"I need both my hands on this, Gabby. No."

Instead of continuing the argument, the girl walked to Rocky and patted his side like she always did when she wanted the machine's attention.

"Rocky, up!" she commanded and lifted her arms like she wanted to be picked up.

Rodney huffed. "Gabby, Rocky can't- Whoa!" He made a dash towards the duo when Rocky's robotic arm wrapped around Gabby's waist, twisted her upside down and then planted her in the seat on top. Gabby giggled and brushed her hair away from her face.

"Good boy," she announced and Rodney tried to calm his racing heart.

"When did he learn that!" he yelped. "It's not supposed to do that. I never taught it that! Zelenka? Did you teach Rocky to pick Gabby up?"

"You told me not to touch your pet, Rodney," the Czech said. "So no."

"Anyone? Which one of you taught my robot how to manhandle my daughter, huh? Because that wasn't funny. It might seem like a fun practical joke but it's not."

"Dada!" Gabby called to get his attention. "Gabby teash."

"You taught him? I'm supposed to believe that you taught him to do that?"

"Uh-huh," the girl said with a firm nod and a serious expression. Then she patted the side of the machine again. "Rocky? Rock."

The machine responded by lowering its front end and lifting the rear. Then it switched, initiating a slow rocking motion. Gabby leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes with a happy sigh.

"Gabby teash," she announced and all Rodney could do was stare at the girl and her robo-dog-slash-nanny.

"She's programming robots at twenty-one months," Rodney mumbled to no one in particular. "She's… programming… She..."

"You know, I think she might outsmart you one day," Zelenka said.

"What? Oh, absolutely," Rodney answered absentmindedly, staring at the duo. "She's already two years ahead of me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


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